retroactive jealousy

5 Books That Will Help You Overcome Retroactive Jealousy

When I was suffering from retroactive jealousy, I checked out a lot of books that I hoped might provide me with some relief. Some were very good, others were just OK, and many others weren’t helpful at all. It wasn’t until I realized that I had to stop intellectualizing my condition that I began to get over…

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Episode 105

Why Memories From Your Partner’s Past Don’t Really Exist

Occasionally I get e-mails from readers who are troubled by their partner’s past memories of former lovers. Some people are worried that their partner may look back fondly on their former lovers, or have vivid memories of past sexual encounters, and so on. I try to tell these readers that memories don’t exist the way they think they…

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VIDEO: Try This Quick And Easy Gratitude Exercise For Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy

A few months ago I began a daily gratitude journal (which might sound hokey and new-agey, but bear with me…) The results were interesting to say the least. My experience with my gratitude journal prompted me to create a new gratitude-based exercise for sufferers of retroactive jealousy, which I discussed with several coaching clients, and students…

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trigger video

VIDEO: “Help! What should I do if I run into my partner’s ex??”

Lately I’ve received a lot of emails from readers asking about what to do when/if they encounter what I call “trigger” people… A “trigger person” is someone associated with your partner’s past who brings up an intense emotional response in you. For most sufferers of retroactive jealousy, their main “trigger person” is their partner’s ex. For some of…

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Overcoming Feelings of Loneliness and Neediness in Relationships

NOTE: The following is an excerpt from my newly released e-book, Everyday Joy: Or, How To Be Happier and Healthier, and Party All The Time. Although this article does not deal with retroactive jealousy directly, it’s still very relevant for our purpose of discovering new perspectives, and exercises for letting go of jealousy, possessiveness, and neediness in relationships.…

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Get my new e-book for FREE on Amazon (for a limited time!)

Today’s the day! After several months of revisions, editing, mulling it over, crumpling up and tossing drafts into the wastebasket, walking over to the wastebasket and de-crumpling, etc. I’m pleased to say that my new book is finally done. Finito. Complete. And I’m really excited to share it with you. And until this Thursday (September 18),…

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The Difference Between Normal Jealousy and Obsessive Jealousy

Let me clear something up right off the bat: I don’t like the word “normal.” What the hell is “normal” anyway? And who’s to say what’s “normal” and what’s not? And why do so many of us aspire to be a “normal” person? Sounds pretty boring to me. (I digress, but my point is it’s…

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The Real Key To Getting Over Your Partner’s Past

Let’s say you want to build a house. So you go the bank and take out a loan. You buy a plot of land. You buy lumber, siding, concrete, etc. You find some house-building books and plans, and talk to others who’ve built houses similar to the one you envision for yourself. You spend hours sitting on your…

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Mailbag: “Getting over my girlfriend’s past and moving forward”

Earlier this week I received a kind and inspiring letter from a student taking my Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast video course. (Let’s call him Devon.) In the letter, Devon shared details of his lifelong struggles with retroactive jealousy, his relationship, and his determination to get over his girlfriend’s past, and get retroactive jealousy beat: Hi…

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How To Stop Jealous Thoughts In Their Tracks

In my guidebook on overcoming retroactive jealousy, I emphasize that no thought can have power over you without your permission. When a jealous thought, or “mental movie” takes hold, some part of you is giving that thought power to disrupt your day. When you let an unwanted thought get to you, on some level you…

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