About Zachary Stockill & RetroactiveJealousy.com
You don’t have to spend the rest of your relationship fighting with the past.
I’m Zachary Stockill, a Canadian author and retroactive jealousy coach. Since 2013, I’ve been helping people make sense of obsessive thoughts, unwanted mental images, comparisons, and difficult feelings about a partner’s past—and learn how to respond differently.
I started this website because I know how consuming retroactive jealousy can feel. I also know that it doesn’t have to be the defining feature of your relationship or your life.
I didn’t start this work as an outsider looking in.
My interest in retroactive jealousy began with my own experience of struggling with thoughts and feelings about a partner’s past. At the time, I wanted more than reassurance or another explanation of why I shouldn’t feel the way I did. I wanted to understand what was keeping me stuck—and, more importantly, what I could actually do about it.
That search eventually led me to write about the subject and, in 2013, create RetroactiveJealousy.com.
Over the years, the site has grown from my personal exploration into a library of articles, videos, podcast episodes, books, and structured training. I’ve also had the privilege of working directly with people confronting this problem in their relationships.
I still bring the same basic conviction to my work: you deserve a relationship shaped by what is happening in the present, not one endlessly dominated by stories about the past.
My approach
The goal isn’t to win an argument with every thought.
Retroactive jealousy can show up in different ways. Some people get caught in intrusive mental images and repetitive questions. Others struggle with comparisons, anger, or a clash between their values and what they know about a partner’s past. Sometimes these experiences overlap with obsessive-compulsive symptoms; sometimes they do not.
I’ve found that the most useful work often begins when we stop making the partner’s past the centre of every conversation and turn our attention toward our own reactions, choices, habits, and way of living.
That doesn’t mean ignoring legitimate relationship concerns, pretending the past never happened, or promising that a difficult thought will never return. It means learning how to build a life and relationship that are bigger than the loop.
Writer. Educator. Coach. Still learning.
I’m the author of Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy and The Overcoming Jealousy Workbook, and the creator of Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast. My work combines personal experience with years spent researching, writing, making educational content, and working with people who want to move beyond retroactive jealousy.
I’m originally from Ontario, Canada. I have an Honours BA in History from the University of Ottawa, an MA in Globalization Studies from McMaster University, and an MA in History from the University of British Columbia. Before focusing on this work, I also spent time with human-rights organizations in Canada and India.
I’m not a psychiatrist or licensed psychotherapist, and I don’t present coaching or online courses as substitutes for mental-health care. If your symptoms are severe, significantly disrupt daily life, or may involve OCD, a qualified mental-health professional can help you understand appropriate assessment and treatment options.
Outside this work, I love travel, music, writing, and playing instruments. I’m a lifelong Beatles fan. Some things haven’t changed since I first wrote this page.
Explore your options
Find the next step that fits where you are.
Get started for free
A practical introduction to retroactive jealousy and beginning to change the habits that keep the thought loop going.
Read at your own pace
My books offer structured ways to reflect on your patterns and put useful ideas into practice.
Work through a program
Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast is my flagship online course for people who want structured, self-paced learning.
Explore private coaching
For those seeking individualized guidance, I offer a limited number of coaching engagements. Applications are reviewed for suitability.
My work in the wider conversation
My experiences with retroactive jealousy have been part of wider conversations about relationships and obsessive thinking, including on BBC News and BBC Radio 4’s The Digital Human. I’ve also discussed the subject in interviews with independent podcasts and other publications.
You can start small.
You don’t need to have everything figured out before you begin. If you’re tired of losing time and peace of mind to thoughts about your partner’s past, the free mini-course is a sensible first step.
Looking for a more personal introduction? Read my full story.
The articles, videos, books, courses, and coaching on this site are educational and are not medical advice, diagnosis, or psychotherapy. If you’re concerned about obsessive-compulsive symptoms or significant distress, consult a qualified mental-health professional. Nothing here is a promise of a particular outcome.
