In today’s video, I’m going to lay out a process that you can use to come up with affirmations for overcoming jealousy.

Coming up with personalized affirmations for overcoming jealousy is one of the first steps any jealousy sufferer should undertake.

Transcript below

Zachary Stockill: I thought at the beginning of January of this year, it’s a good opportunity for me to present this video, present some ideas around setting intentions for the new year, getting very, very clear on what you want and coming up with lists of affirmations for overcoming jealousy, whether that’s retroactive jealousy, present-based obsessive jealousy… Whatever you’re dealing with, I think this process will help you.

Though it’s important for me to note that you don’t have to come up with affirmations for overcoming jealousy at the beginning of a new year.

Really, anytime you’re facing any kind of a crisis in life or anytime you think that it might be time for a change, this process can be really valuable.

And by the way, you can use this process to accomplish pretty much any goal as it relates to your business or your work or personal development.

I can tell you from experience that I’ve used this process to accomplish some pretty big goals in my life, and frankly, I’ve used this process to hit my goals with frightening accuracy. So I strongly encourage you to give this process a chance.

Step one in coming up with any kind of intention or setting an intention or coming up with a new affirmation is to get very, very clear on exactly what you want.

Not vaguely, not speaking in general terms, but try to get as clear as you can on exactly what you want.

Be as specific as possible when coming up with this goal for yourself.

So for example, throughout this video, I’ll use the example of overcoming jealousy. So let’s say that I’m dealing with some kind of obsessive jealousy, obsessive mental movies, obsessive intrusive thoughts, something like that.

And let’s say on a scale from one to 10, with one being zero jealousy and 10 being extremely jealous, let’s say I’m a 10. It’s worthwhile to assign a numeric value to your feelings so you can measure your progress in so far as it’s possible.

For example, let’s say that I set the goal I want to reduce my obsessive jealousy to a four or five out of 10 by February 1st of this year, which by the way is a totally realistic goal, completely realistic intention.

But anyway, try to be as specific as possible when coming up with this statement of exactly what it is that you want.

Step two is to come up with exactly why you want it.

Now, this might seem obvious to you.

Again, coming back to our jealousy example, let’s look at that and say, “well, it’s pretty obvious why am I wanting to overcome any kind of jealousy. Jealousy is a pretty miserable experience. I want to get this out of my life.”

But try to be, again, as specific as possible.

For example, you can write something like “I need to get over this or my partner will leave me. I need to get over this or my relationship will be over. I need to get over this so I can be productive at work again. I need to get over this so I can be a better parent to my children again. I can actually focus on something other than this jealousy.”

Come up with as many reasons as you can and be as specific as possible when coming up with lists of reasons exactly why you want to achieve this goal.

Step three in your affirmations for overcoming jealousy is to determine and to outline exactly what you’re going to exchange for this goal.

Now, this can involve things like time, different efforts, sometimes money. Sometimes there’s a financial component, but not always.

Let’s say I write something like “I’m going to devote three hours a week to reading, study, reading books about jealousy, taking an online course. I’m going to set aside two hours a week to meet with a therapist or a coach. I’m going to take my physical fitness a little more seriously. I’m going to exchange four hours a week of intense physical fitness, which will undoubtedly benefit my mental health.”

These are just examples, but it’s important for you to come up with your own examples, examples that are personally meaningful to you.

And once again, be as specific as possible when coming up with lists of exactly what you will exchange in order to achieve this goal.

Step four is to make sure you write your final statement in the affirmative and as if you’ve already achieved it.

So coming back once more to our jealousy example, I would write something like “On February 1st of this year, I am in a five out of 10 on the jealousy scale. I feel far more at peace with my girlfriend’s past. I have far fewer mental movies. I have far fewer intrusive thoughts. I have far less obsessive curiosity.”

When you’re writing this out, make sure you’re writing it as if you’ve already achieved it and get very, very clear in your mind on exactly what this version of success looks like for you.

And finally, I want you to read this list, read these affirmations, read what you’ve come up with every morning or at the very least, every night before you go to bed.

It’s even better if you can do it at both times. So first thing in the morning when you wake up and right before you go to bed at night.

This is very, very, very powerful, but in some ways, the most important component in this whole exercise is as you’re reading this, to try to imagine what it’s actually going to feel like once you’ve accomplished these goals.

You can close your eyes, you can visualize, you can try to feel the emotions and feeling your body how it’s going to feel once you’ve achieved these future goals that you’re working toward. Try to get as vivid as possible.

Try to conjure up as many mental images or emotions or feelings as you can when you’re imagining how it’s going to feel when, not if, but when you achieve these goals.

If you are looking for help overcoming retroactive jealousy…

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Zachary Stockill
Zachary Stockill

Hi! I'm a Canadian author and educator whose work has been featured in BBC News, BBC Radio 4, The Huffington Post, and many other publications. I'm the founder of RetroactiveJealousy.com, the author of Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy and The Overcoming Jealousy Workbook, and the host of Humans in Love podcast.