BIGGEST Mistake With Retroactive Jealousy: Beware [VIDEO]

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In today’s video, I want to talk about the biggest mistake I made when I struggled with retroactive jealousy.

Read or watch below to learn more about the biggest mistake with retroactive jealousy.

 Zachary Stockill: People who suffer from retroactive jealousy often make many critical mistakes while trying to come to terms with their partner’s past.

In today’s video, I will share a personal story from my own experience with retroactive jealousy many years ago.

I am going to discuss the biggest mistake I made when I was struggling with retroactive jealousy.

My name is Zachary Stockill, and since 2013, I have been helping men and women from around the world overcome retroactive jealousy and save their relationships.

Please visit this link for more information about my work or to work with me one-on-one.

In my late teens and early twenties, I was a classic sufferer of extreme retroactive jealousy. As I mentioned in my first book, Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy, it was truly a living nightmare. It was hell.

My then-girlfriend’s past was the first thing I thought of when I woke up in the morning with my coffee, and the last thing on my mind when I went to bed at night.

It was all-consuming. Back then, the internet was a much different place, and I could find very little helpful information on this topic.

I once struggled with extreme retroactive jealousy and made many mistakes while trying to work through it.

Honestly, one of the mistakes I made was talking to a few clueless counselors who judged me in a hurtful way and offered no valuable advice.

I also engaged in social media stalking, spending hours at 3 a.m. trying to find her exes on Facebook, wondering what they looked like, if they commented on her photos, and what it all meant.

I made many mistakes, but the biggest one was asking my partner endless questions about her past.

When I say ‘asking questions,’ it sounds too delicate for what I was actually doing. It was more like relentless interrogation.

I constantly interrogated her, asking for minute details like where they went, what they did, how she felt, and why she did it.

I would question her inconsistencies, asking if she was lying. Anyone suffering from retroactive jealousy will likely understand what I’m talking about.

The endless questions would lead to more questions, each answer opening up another line of inquiry.

We often act like detectives, believing that if we ask enough questions, we’ll finally find the peace and clarity we need.

All retroactive jealousy sufferers eventually realize that the satisfaction of getting an answer they like is short-lived.

Not all sufferers go through this, and frankly, those who don’t are the lucky ones.

If you’ve just discovered my work and are struggling with retroactive jealousy but haven’t bombarded your partner with endless questions about their past, well done—that’s actually a very good thing.

Let me tell you, asking your partner endless questions about their past will not solve retroactive jealousy.

You can take it from me and from the thousands of retroactive jealousy sufferers I’ve spoken with and emailed.

Many only started making progress toward fixing this problem when they committed to stopping asking their partner questions about their past.

The number one lesson I want to stress in this video is that…

You cannot solve retroactive jealousy by asking your partner endless questions about their past.

It doesn’t work that way. I receive emails almost every day, often from students in my online courses, especially ‘Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast,‘ saying, “Oh my God, Zach, I didn’t want to do it, but thank you for that advice…”

“I’m so glad I finally learned to stop asking my partner questions about their past.”

Some of you might say, “I can’t stop. I can’t help myself…”

“I don’t know how to stop.” I understand feeling that way, but I don’t entirely accept that excuse. You’re an adult, and we all need to work on a certain level of self-control.

I can speak personally about this. I had to learn a new level of self-control when it came to this issue. Part of learning that lesson was realizing that asking all these questions wasn’t solving my problem.

Asking my then-girlfriend endless questions about her past wasn’t leading to the long-term peace of mind I truly wanted.

I wanted long-term clarity and peace of mind, not just temporary relief for an hour or two days. I wanted a lasting solution.

You can only fix retroactive jealousy in the long term if you commit firmly to stop asking your partner questions about their past.

There are many ways to learn how to stop, but it all starts with a firm commitment to yourself to say, “You know what, I’m done…”

Stop making excuses and reasoning with yourself, thinking, ‘I just have two more questions’ or ‘I just have three more questions, and then I’ll stop.’

It doesn’t work that way. You can’t bargain your way out of this problem.

I believe learning how to stop begins with making a firm commitment to say, ‘You know what? I’m done. This isn’t helping in the long term.

This isn’t going to solve my problem fully. I might get some answers I like and feel reassured, or I might get an occasional ego boost, but ultimately, this won’t solve my problem.

Overcoming retroactive jealousy goes deeper than that. If you’re interested in how to start overcoming retroactive jealousy, I recommend signing up for my free four-part video mini-course on how to get started.

Many thousands of people have found this free, four-part mini-course very helpful. You can unsubscribe anytime, no problem—it’s totally free, with no catch.

Click on this link to receive the first free video delivered straight to your inbox.

If you’d like more information about my work or you’d like to work with me one-on-one, please visit this page.

And be sure you’re subscribed to my YouTube channel as well to be notified of new videos.