Should You Get Married If You’re Struggling With Retroactive Jealousy?

A 20-something male student going through my online course recently wrote to me with an important question: Do you think that it is wise to wait until I have overcome RJ to a reasonable level before considering marriage? The reasoning behind my question is that marriage is a big deal for me, and I really…

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Mailbag: “What if my partner has more sexual experience than me? And what if she’s ‘the One’?”

Today’s letter comes from an American named Ron. It raises several important, and widely resonant issues for sufferers of retroactive jealousy, and sexual jealousy in general. Ron writes: Hi Zachary, My partner has been with a lot more people than I have. I’m jealous of her. I’m jealous that I haven’t been with as many…

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What is Love?

Baby, don’t hurt me… (Apologies, couldn’t resist.) … Not long ago, one of the students taking my “Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast” course wrote to me with a provocative question. Let’s call him “Ananda:” I was reading your blog post about 36 of your favourite quotes about jealousy, love, and relationships. The final quote,…

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The Wim Hof Method for Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy

**Please note: this site is not affiliated with Wim Hof, the Wim Hof Method, or the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast in any way. I’m just a fan. If there was a competition for the title of the world’s most interesting man, I’d wager that Wim Hof would rank among the frontrunners. Hof climbed Mount Everest and Mount Kilimanjaro…

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“Living With A Jealous Husband:” What Retroactive Jealousy Feels Like On The Receiving End

Over the past three years, I’ve put together many articles about what it feels like to suffer from retroactive jealousy (not to mention a guidebook and online course about how to overcome it). At the same time, I’ve written very little about what it feels like when you have a partner who suffers from retroactive jealousy. This is mostly due…

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Mailbag: When A Jealous Boyfriend Won’t Admit He’s Jealous

Today’s letter comes to us from a South African reader we’ll call “M,” whose jealous boyfriend won’t admit that he’s jealous: Dear Zachary, My boyfriend has retroactive jealousy and has admitted he plays movies in his head of what other guys have done to me and is he even to the point where he doesn’t want…

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How Do You “Compete” With Your Boyfriend’s Ex?

When you hear the word “settling,” what comes to mind? “Settling down?” “Settling for someone?” “Settling in?” What? When I hear the word “settling,” I cringe. To me, “settling” in the context of relationships implies a choice to be OK with OK. To “settle” for mediocrity. To “settle” for someone who isn’t worthy of you. And, to…

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“Getting over my girlfriend’s past and moving forward”

Earlier this week I received a kind and inspiring letter from a student taking my Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast video course. Let’s call him Devon. In the letter, Devon shared details of his lifelong struggles with retroactive jealousy, his relationship, and his determination to get over his girlfriend’s past, and get retroactive jealousy beat: Hi…

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Mailbag: “What I’ve learned from overcoming retroactive jealousy”

One of the major perks of being an author and educator is getting letters from people who have been impacted by your work. It’s gratifying, to say the least. Earlier this week I sent an email to my mailing list (sign up using the sidebar on the right) asking people what they’ve learned since beginning to…

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Mailbag: Dealing With Obsessive Curiosity and Retroactive Jealousy

I recently got an email from a reader named Eric dealing with “hitting a wall,” and his intense curiosity regarding his girlfriend’s diary: Dear Zach,      First off, I would like to thank you for your book. I bought it after I continuously obsessed over my girlfriend’s past. Wanting to know every detail was only…

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