Meditations: A Roman Emperor’s Guide to Letting Go of Jealousy and Possessiveness

wife's past

During a recent interview, I was asked to recommend just one book that every man should read. I chose to recommend a book I think everyone can benefit from, regardless of their gender: the classic Meditations by the ancient Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius. Marcus Aurelius is one of the fathers of Stoicism, the ancient school of Hellenistic philosophy The…

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Listen To My New Interview On The ManTalks Podcast

mantalks

ManTalks is a personal development website focused on sharing stories from “men making a difference.” Last month I was honoured to be featured as a ‘Man of the Week,’ and this week I was invited to appear on the ManTalks Podcast to share my story, and talk about retroactive jealousy. If you’re a man (or woman,…

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The Three Different Types of Retroactive Jealousy: An Explainer

It’s fair to estimate that the overwhelming majority of the global population has never encountered the term “retroactive jealousy.” Someone at a party asks about the projects I’m working on, and I’m consistently met with a confused “Huh?” when I bring it up. Even those of us who become familiar with the term “retroactive jealousy”…

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Retroactive Jealousy Is Not (Always) The Same As Conflicting Values

Since I launched this site two years ago, hundreds of people have written to me asking the same question in different ways. That question goes something like this… “My partner is amazing in every other regard, but I can’t seem to get past their past relationships/sexual history. Do you think I should try to work through this,…

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“I Can’t Stop Stalking My Wife’s Past On Facebook:” Retroactive Jealousy And Social Media

There’s never been a better, or worse, time to be dealing with retroactive jealousy. Unlike decades earlier, with the advent of the internet the average RJ sufferer can find a wealth of useful information on the topic. While it’s true that there is a lot of garbage concerning retroactive jealousy on the internet, there is also…

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Is Sexual Jealousy Natural?

Dr. Christopher Ryan is the co-author of the 2010 bestseller Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality, cited by many as one of the most important books on sex and sexuality to emerge in the past fifty years. From Wikipedia: In opposition to what the authors see as the ‘standard narrative’ of human…

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Setting Non-Negotiables: A Simple Way To Get Serious About Self-Improvement in 2015

Happy New Year from Chiang Mai, Thailand!  I originally posted this article over on my personal website, but I thought it would be appropriate to share here as well. If you’re suffering from retroactive jealousy, I believe that getting serious about owning your condition and overcoming it should be one of your “non-negotiables” for the…

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Why Memories From Your Partner’s Past Don’t Really Exist

Occasionally I get e-mails from readers who are troubled by their partner’s memories of former lovers. Some people are worried that their partner may look back fondly on their former lovers, or have vivid memories of past sexual encounters, and so on. I try to tell these readers that memories don’t exist the way they think they…

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Overcoming Feelings of Loneliness and Neediness in Relationships

NOTE: The following is an excerpt from my newly released e-book, Everyday Joy: Or, How To Be Happier and Healthier, and Party All The Time. Although this article does not deal with retroactive jealousy directly, it’s still very relevant for our purpose of discovering new perspectives, and exercises for letting go of jealousy, possessiveness, and neediness in relationships.…

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The Difference Between “Normal” Jealousy and Obsessive Jealousy

Let me clear something up right off the bat: I don’t like the word “normal.” What exactly is “normal” anyway? And who’s to say what’s “normal” and what’s not? And why do so many of us aspire to be a “normal” person? Sounds pretty boring to me. (I digress, but my point is it’s a…

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