CHANGE Your Perspective on the Past: How to Do It [VIDEO]

In today’s video, I discuss how to change your perspective on the past.

Read or watch below to learn how to change your perspective on the past so you can find more peace and clarity in your relationship.

And really, what are the odds of that? Thank God. What a miracle.

Maybe—just maybe—the past happened exactly as it should.

Maybe the past is perfect. I know a lot of you might feel resistance to that idea, and that’s totally normal.

The reason it feels uncomfortable is because you’ve probably been telling yourself the opposite story for a long time—some version of my partner’s past is imperfect.

But here’s the real question: which of those stories is actually helping you?

Which of those stories is more empowering?

Which one is going to help you feel better about your shared future—maybe even open up new possibilities?

Which story is going to get you closer to where you actually want to be, both as a couple and as an individual?

The story where the past is flawed and you’re a victim of it, or the story where the past is perfect—because it led you here, to each other?

Out of 8 billion people on Earth, you two found each other.

What are the odds of that? Honestly—what a miracle.

So which of those stories is better? Which one is really going to get you where you want to go?

I think, deep down, you probably already know the answer.

But I get it—sometimes people push back against this way of thinking.

Some people might think, “Well, that sounds delusional.”

But here’s the thing—the story that your partner’s past (or your own) is imperfect is equally delusional.

There’s no absolute truth in that either.

And while we’re about to head into a pretty thorny philosophical rabbit hole—which I’ll resist for now—it’s worth saying: the past has no inherent meaning.

It’s all stories, right? I studied history in another life—I actually have two master’s degrees in history. I love it.

I love looking into the past.

And when you really study history, when you dig deep, you start to realize something important: history is nothing but stories.

It’s not just dates, timelines, or events—it’s all stories we tell to make sense of what happened.

That’s really all our study of the past is—it’s stories.

And those stories shift and evolve across different eras and perspectives.

Again, I’m avoiding the deeper philosophical rabbit hole here, but the point stands: there is no inherent truth in the past.

You can choose to tell yourself a better story—about your partner’s past or your own—anytime you want.

It’s really about recognizing, “You know what? I’m stuck in this mental rabbit hole.

I’m caught in a victim loop. I’m telling myself a pretty depressing story.”

So why not start actively choosing a better one?

Focus on what you have to be grateful for right now.

Because that’s another big mental trap many retroactive jealousy sufferers fall into—they lose sight of the good that’s right in front of them.

They focus on what they lack instead of what they have.

For example, you might feel like you’re missing parts of your partner’s past—like you’ve lost time they spent with someone else.

And sure, you can look at it that way.

But again, let’s try turning that around for a moment.

Look at all you do have.

You have a partner you deeply connect with—and that’s incredibly rare and precious.

Whether you have two more years together, or 20, or 50, that connection is something to be grateful for.

Life gets better—I can tell you from experience—the more we focus on what we truly have, and the more we practice gratitude for the incredible gifts in our lives.

Choosing to focus on what you have—instead of fixating on what you think you lack—is one of the most powerful shifts you can make.

It’s simply a better way to move through life.

When you focus on gratitude and all the evidence that you’re already surrounded by meaningful gifts, something shifts.

You naturally start to internalize a better story.

One that actually helps move you toward the life and relationship you truly want.

Thanks for listening, and thanks for watching.

If you’re struggling with retroactive jealousy and you’re ready to start moving forward—as in, yesterday—I’d like to offer you a free four-part video mini course to help you get started.

You can sign up for my free four-part video mini-course on how to start overcoming retroactive jealousy.

It’s completely free, with no catch, and it includes videos and content you won’t find on YouTube or anywhere else, so be sure to sign up for my free four-part video mini-course to start overcoming retroactive jealousy.