In today’s video, I’m going to tell you why it’s a great time for men in the West to be dating.

Read or watch below to hear my response to a common question: “Is dating for Western men getting worse?”

Zachary Stockill: Over 10 years of coaching, I’ve worked with a lot of men of various age ranges in many Western countries. And a lot of men in Western countries have pessimistic feelings about the modern dating scene. They think that it is now a terrible time for men to be dating, which I call nonsense. I don’t think that’s the case at all. 

In fact, I think it’s a great time for men in the West to be dating. And in today’s video, I’m going to tell you why. 

So as I said, at the beginning of this video, I think it’s a great time for men, in particular Western men, to be dating for a few reasons.

Number one, there’s no nice way to say this… 

So I’ll just say it: the competition is virtually non-existent

Don’t buy into the social media algorithm lies that tell you that every guy out there is just killing it with women. And “If I’m not super handsome with a six-pack and an eight-figure bank account, I’m not going to get a date…” It’s absolute nonsense. 

But when I talk about the competition, I’m not even necessarily talking about the economic competition, or the looks competition, or anything like that.

And I don’t know a politically correct way to say this. So I’ll just say it:

I have been living in Asia for the past 10 years, roughly. And beyond that, I’ve lived in various countries in South America and Asia. 

So I’m from Canada, but I haven’t actually lived in Canada for a long time. But of course, I go back to visit and I visit the United States, and I go to Europe sometimes. So I have some handle on what’s happening there…

It seems to me that, in the West, testosterone is in short supply. 

There is a dearth of men out there, at least in my perception, who are ambitious, who know how to hold a good conversation, who enjoy the dance of sexual polarity between masculine and feminine…

Men who take care of their bodies, at least to some extent…

Of course, these men exist, but it seems to me they get fewer and fewer in number every time I go back to the West. 

So what does that mean about the modern dating market?

It means if you are a guy with your act together–if you’re ambitious, if you know how to charm a woman a little bit, if you’re a decent conversationalist, if you’re interested in her, and if you ask good questions, if you want to discover your purpose, and try to live true to that, if you have any kind of physical hobbies –that automatically puts you ahead of between 90 and 95% of guys out there.

I’m not kidding, 

I see so many guys in the West who don’t even buy clothes that fit, they don’t take care of themselves physically at all. They don’t seem to be ambitious in any real way. 

dating for Western men getting worse

Women don’t exactly like that. They’re not going to respond to that.

I won’t go on a big rant about what women want. Because that’s a very charged topic. And it’s beyond the scope of this video. 

But at the end of the day, from my perception. If you just get a few things right when it comes to how you present yourself and your mindset, about how you think about the future, and how you think about women…

If you just get a few things right, you can transform your dating life because the competition is so weak.

By the way, I have a lot of female friends. And many of my female friends are brutally honest with me when it comes to their experiences of dating men. 

So again, my feedback is not entirely anecdotal. It’s not entirely based on my random perceptions or anything like that. It’s also based on the feedback that I get directly from women.

So, guys: it’s a great time to be dating if you have a bit of testosterone. If you have a bit of ambition for a better future. And, if you like women, if you enjoy their company. And if you appreciate and recognize the differences between the sexes.

So that’s my main message in this video…

Don’t be a fatalist. Don’t be pessimistic. It’s a great time to be a man on the dating market. 

dating for Western men getting worse

By the way, if you’re looking for a certain quality in a woman, or you have a certain idea of the kind of woman that you like. Here is a great mental exercise that you can go through that many guys neglect.

Ask yourself: what does that woman want?

How can I be attractive to her? How can I add value to her life? What kind of man would she respond to?

If you aren’t sure you can read books, you can talk to your female friends, but you can also probably just theorize and be pretty close. 

Another good question to ask yourself when you’re dating… I heard this in a YouTube video years ago, and it always stuck with me:

Ask yourself: okay, if I was the opposite sex, would I go to bed with me? 

It’s a good thing to think about if you don’t like the results that you’re getting in the dating market. 

Take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, “okay, I’m so focused on getting what I want. But what do I have to offer?”

The universe loves balance. If you enter your dating life with the attitude of “I have so much to offer, and I can’t wait to offer it…” If you go into your dating life with the mindset of wanting to love rather than only thinking about being loved, results will follow. 

So I’m going to resist the temptation to go on an hour-long rant about this topic. But at the end of the day, I just want to provide a message of hope and optimism to men out there…

If you take care of a few key areas of your life–your physique, your mindset–results will follow. And I’m telling you: it’s a great time to be a man in the dating market, as long as you get a few things right.

If you’d like more information about my work, or you’d like to work with me one-on-one, please visit this page.

And, be sure you’re subscribed to my YouTube channel as well to be notified of new videos.


Zachary Stockill
Zachary Stockill

Hi! I'm a Canadian author and educator whose work has been featured in BBC News, BBC Radio 4, The Huffington Post, and many other publications. I'm the founder of RetroactiveJealousy.com, the author of Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy and The Overcoming Jealousy Workbook, and the host of Humans in Love podcast.