Dealing with obsessive thoughts isn’t easy.

And it especially isn’t easy when the obsessive thoughts are associated with our partner’s past relationships and/or sexual history.

Retroactive jealousy OCD is one of the most frustrating and debilitating mental disorders. Quality information to help you overcome it is rare.

Thankfully, however, as I noted in a previous video, we can look to the literature on OCD for some guidance and suggestions.

Referred to by some as the “OCD bible,” Jeffrey Schwartz’s book Brain Lock might be the most popular and effective book for helping to manage the symptoms associated with OCD.

(Fun fact: it’s also the book most often purchased with Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy on Amazon:)


I didn’t read Brain Lock back when I was dealing with obsessive thoughts associated with my partner’s past.

That might have been a mistake.

There’s a lot of quality information in the book, most notably, the “Four Step Program”…


The basic principle is that by understanding what these thoughts and urges really are, you can learn to manage the fear and anxiety that OCD causes. Managing your fear, in turn, will allow you to control your behavioural responses much more effectively. You will use biological knowledge and cognitive awareness to help you perform exposure and response prevention on your own. This strategy has four basic steps:

Step 1: Relabel

Step 2: Reattribute

Step 3: Refocus

Step 4: Revalue

Today’s video will explain the 4 step program for dealing with obsessive thoughts to you in depth, while offering other useful tools and practices for overcoming retroactive jealousy OCD.

(I also sneak a bonus Austin Powers reference in there.)

This is a bonus lecture from my video course on overcoming retroactive jealousy, “Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast.”

Ordinarily, it’s only available to students taking my course.

But today, I’d like to share it with you for free.

If you’re dealing with obsessive thoughts, feeling “stuck,” and looking for a solution, this might be the most important video lecture you ever watch.

Hundreds of thousands of OCD sufferers have found relief through Dr. Schwartz’s methods, and while overcoming retroactive jealousy OCD requires a holistic approach, this is a great place to get started.

I hope you enjoy. (Leave a comment beneath this post and let me know!)

Click below to watch my video on dealing with obsessive thoughts with Brain Lock:

Click here to get access to my entire video course on overcoming retroactive jealousy, “Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast.”

Zachary Stockill
Zachary Stockill

Hi! I'm a Canadian author and educator whose work has been featured in BBC News, BBC Radio 4, The Huffington Post, and many other publications. I'm the founder of, the author of Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy and The Overcoming Jealousy Workbook, and the host of Humans in Love podcast.