Coaching for Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy: Paul’s Story [VIDEO]

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In today’s video, I discuss coaching for overcoming retroactive jealousy, and share a remarkable story from a recent client.

Read or watch below to learn strategies through coaching for overcoming retroactive jealousy.

Zachary Stockill: Maybe you could start by sharing a bit about where you were at emotionally before you decided to invest in coaching.

Paul: For me, I was probably at the lowest point of my life. And that’s saying a lot, because I lost my spouse four years ago.

But this—this came after jealousy had completely torn me apart.

It’s just that I never really fully healed from the grief and trauma of losing my spouse.

And honestly, the jealousy felt like a symptom of everything I was already struggling with.

So when I came to you, I was at the absolute lowest point in my life.

Zachary: What were some of the things you had tried before to deal with this?

Like you mentioned, you had been in therapy before and tried a few different things.

Yeah, I’ve seen psychotherapists, tried different kinds of therapy like EMDR, even read a bunch of books. But none of it really stuck with me.

I tried to be open and honest in those sessions, and for a while I’d think it was working—but the issues would always come back.

And with the jealousy, I don’t think I ever really got to the root of it or was pushed to face the deeper issues behind it.

So it would just keep coming back over and over again.

Zachary: And what were some of the things you used to do because of the retroactive jealousy—in terms of your actions or how it made you feel?

What kind of toll was this taking on your life?

Paul: Oh, it was huge. I’d sit in my car, just stuck in my head, playing out these painful scenarios over and over.

I put my fiancée—my girlfriend at the time—through so much, constantly asking questions, digging, needing reassurance.

I’d get angry with her and blame her for things that happened years ago—stuff from like 20 years back.

And my self-worth was at an all-time low.

I eventually reached a point where I just couldn’t take it anymore—it felt like my mind was breaking. It was honestly horrendous. The thoughts were constant, nonstop.

I couldn’t even be intimate with my girlfriend without my mind spiraling into jealousy, imagining situations with her ex. It just never ended.

Zachary: So what made you finally take the leap and sign up for coaching?

Paul: Honestly, it was the self-destruction caused by the jealousy.

I hit a point where I just said to myself—I have to fix this. I didn’t feel like I had a choice anymore. I had already torn my life apart, and I knew I couldn’t keep living that way.

Zachary: And now as I’m talking to you today, I think it’s been about two months since we started working together.

So how would you compare how you’re feeling now to before you started coaching?

Paul: Oh, good lord. I’m in a completely different place now.

Honestly, the shift in my mindset over the past eight weeks has been huge.

And what’s interesting is, I thought this was just going to be about curing my jealousy—but it turned out to be so much more than that.

I thought, okay, I’ll just get rid of my jealousy.

But then I started going deeper, especially as you gave me these philosophical and spiritual challenges.

They really made me take a hard look at myself and hold myself accountable.

You asked the tough questions—the ones I didn’t always want to face.

And honestly, you said things I didn’t always want to hear, but needed to. I didn’t want to hear those things—but I needed to.

And today, I’m a different man. I really am.

After my wife passed, I lost my way—my sense of meaning, purpose, the values and virtues I used to live by.

But through this process, I’ve started to find all of that again.

So this hasn’t really been just about jealousy for me.

It started with that, sure—but it’s turned into a total life transformation, to be honest.

Zachary: That’s beautiful. That’s really, really great to hear. So you’d say you’ve experienced benefits from it, then?

Paul: Absolutely. It’s been more worthwhile than I ever imagined—both the time and the energy I put into it.

Yeah, like when I first signed up, I thought, okay, I’ll just give this a shot—I didn’t really know what to expect.

Honestly, when I first sent you the money, part of me thought, oh no, I’ve been scammed, or this is going to be another thing that doesn’t help.

But now, after everything, I can honestly say I’d do it again in a heartbeat—100 percent.

I wouldn’t change a thing—I’d jump into this all over again. It’s truly been life-changing for me.

So yeah, I really owe you a debt of gratitude.

I know I’ll be a better man moving forward, and more importantly, a better father to my son because of everything I’ve gone through in this process.

Zachary: Great. That’s so good to hear, Paul.

So my last question is: what would you say to someone who’s struggling with retroactive jealousy and thinking about investing in coaching with me?

Paul: Go for it. Seriously. I honestly don’t think you could ask for a better coach.

It’s not just about the sessions—it’s the whole, well-rounded system you provide.

It’s spiritual, it’s philosophical, and it even brings in elements of psychotherapy—it all blends together in a really powerful way.

Your knowledge is honestly incredible, especially compared to what I’ve experienced with traditional therapists. I think you’re far beyond that. Your whole system, the way you approach this work, is just on another level.

And yeah, the accountability is a big part of it too. That’s what really makes the change stick.

Working with you wasn’t something I took lightly—I invested money into this, and because of that, I really wanted to get the most out of it.

And I truly believe I did. It was 100% worth it.

So for anyone thinking about doing this, I’d say: only do it if you’re ready to take it seriously.

If you’re not fully committed, then it’s probably not the right time. But if you are—it can change your life.

But if you really want to change, and you’re truly willing to put in the time, take on the challenges, and actually listen to what you’re guiding them through—then I would 100% recommend doing this. No question about it.

If you’d like more information about my work, or you’d like to work with me one-on-one, please click here.