How Roberta Overcame Retroactive Jealousy (Incredible Story) [VIDEO]

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In today’s video, I’m going to go into the story of how Roberta overcame retroactive jealousy and turned her relationship around.

Read or watch below to learn more about how a former student in “Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast,” Roberta, overcame retroactive jealousy and found peace in her relationship.

Zach: I really appreciate you making time for me, Roberta—and just, yeah, being willing to put yourself out there and share a bit of your story. It means a lot to people because not many are willing to speak about that publicly. I really appreciate it.

Roberta: Thank you for creating this whole mission you’ve put out there—because without it, people wouldn’t even know what this is or that it’s something different.

Most regular therapists wouldn’t recognize it unless they’ve been through it themselves or listened to you.

I had never heard of it before. You’re a pioneer.

Honestly, you saved my marriage. I wouldn’t have one if it weren’t for you.

Zach: Wow, that’s really flattering. It’s very kind of you to say.

Maybe you can just tell me a little bit about where you were with retroactive jealousy before you found me—before you came across my work.

What was it like for you? How did it come up in your life?

Roberta: It came up for me because I became insanely jealous, which was strange since I’d always felt secure in myself.

But when I met Bob—the nicest, kindest person I’ve ever met—I started feeling that way. He came into my life at a time when I really needed someone.

I became a widow six years ago—actually, today marks six years.

Zach: Wow.

Roberta: Yeah, so the reason—it’s very emotional for me to look back. I could have destroyed the best thing that ever happened to me.

We met on Christmas Eve, and after just a few days, we were inseparable.

But then the doubts started.

The more time we spent together, the more I kept looking for proof—like, what happened with that other person? Is that going to happen to me?

Then I came across the word “jealousy” and started searching for it on my Kindle.

That’s when I found Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy. I read the blurb and thought, “That’s me.”

Zach: So what were some of the things you used to do because of retroactive jealousy? Were you asking him a lot of questions? Constantly looking for reassurance?

Roberta: Oh yeah, I really was. I kept asking him, “How did you meet? Tell me now.”

But he wouldn’t tell me, and that stayed in the back of my mind.

And because we became so close so quickly, I started doubting that too. I even told him, “You’re just replacing her with me.”

I barely knew anything about her—there were no pictures, no internet presence.

She existed, but it felt like she was hidden away, in some secret place. I couldn’t even see what my so-called competition looked like.

But wow, I really wanted to. I had so many walls up because I thought, I’m really going to fall for him—and when I do, I’m going to get hurt worse than ever before.

My husband passed away after 24 years together, and I never had this feeling before. I used to say, “I was with someone for 24 years and never felt this level of… you know, vulnerability.”

But with Bob, he had my heart, and I was vulnerable. The moment I knew I had to get help was when he was at my house.

And right now, it’s snowing outside.

My man is the best shoveler on earth—he’ll clean every car, make sure there’s not a single speck of ice I could slip on.

We had just finished dinner—I usually eat early—and then I freaked out.

I said, “You’ve got a better offer. You’re going to shovel her driveway.”

I said, “Why? Just because she needs to take her kid to school?” That set me off completely.

The way I exploded, it’s a wonder no one called 9-1-1. I totally lost control, and it wasn’t fair—he had already shoveled my driveway.

But the real issue was, I didn’t believe him. I thought he was lying, and I just kept saying, “Liar, liar, liar.”

It was really terrible because we were only about three months into getting close, and I freaked out on him.

I had already started reading about retroactive jealousy on the Kindle, but then I realized I had to do more.

So I ordered the book, started doing the meditations—I bought those too—and told myself, “I’ve gotta do more.”

I knew I had to do more. So I started doing the course and reminded myself that I’m not alone in this.

There are other people who feel like they’re going crazy—maybe they’ve never been this jealous before either.

But that jealousy often matches how important the person is to you. And I kept working on it.

At first, I made a mistake by trying to talk to him about it—but he didn’t need to know all that. It was my journey.

And honestly, I don’t think I’d be engaged, married, owning a home, or building a life with this amazing person if I hadn’t faced and gotten through the intense phase of my retroactive jealousy.

I truly believe a miracle happened because I worked on it.

Miracles can happen when you step back, let the magic unfold, and stop freaking out and accusing the other person—especially if you’re with the right one.

No one’s trying to take my memories—good or bad—away from me. I don’t need to dig everything up.

And I remember you said something that really stuck with me.

One of your tips was to avoid saying things that would hurt or sadden the other person, because that’s what they’ll end up associating you with.

I don’t want to be that person. I want to enjoy the rest of my life.

Things I never thought were possible are now happening—for us as a couple and for me as an individual.

Zach: Beautiful. Yeah, this is the best part of my work—having calls like this and getting a little peek into your life.

Seeing your home and getting a glimpse of your relationship means a lot.

It makes my work feel a lot more real, you know?

It makes it more tangible—the idea that you put all this stuff out into the world, and if you’re lucky, it can actually make a difference.

So, my last question for you, Roberta.

Someone might be watching this right now, unsure about solving this problem.

Maybe they’re on the fence about joining the course. What would you say to them? What’s your message?

Roberta: My message is: do the work. It will definitely lead you to the right place.

Don’t give up—just keep doing the work.

And I told myself this today—I thought, what do I want to tell Zach and anyone who’s listening?

If it weren’t for the X, there wouldn’t be the Y.

You—you’re the Y. You are the Y, and the X had to happen for you to be the one.

Zach: Beautiful. Just beautiful. Well, that’s all I have for you, Roberta.

You’ve made my morning. I’m really glad to know you’re doing so well and that things are going great.

Thank you—thank you so much for doing this. I truly appreciate it.

Roberta: Well, I really appreciate you and all the work you’re doing. I’m happy for you and your life too. I feel like I’ve gone on this journey with you.

And like I said, the best thing that ever happened to me was learning what my struggle actually was—so I could start to heal and move toward being cured.

Click here to join Roberta and thousands more retroactive jealousy survivors with my online course, “Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast.”