In today’s video, I want to talk about the least discussed (and possibly the most important) element involved in overcoming retroactive jealousy.

Read or watch below to discover how to beat retroactive jealousy faster.

Zachary Stockill: If you’re watching this video, chances are pretty good that you realize that overcoming retroactive jealousy is not easy. The topic of retroactive jealousy itself, or should I say the issue of retroactive jealousy, is surprisingly complicated. 

And if you’re getting bad information about retroactive jealousy, which unfortunately in abundance online, it makes everything that much harder. 

But thankfully, after 10 years of doing this work, we know that there are certain frameworks. There are certain perspectives, certain tools that you can use that can drastically speed up the recovery. You can do simple things that can speed up your process of recovery probably more than you think is possible right now. 

In today’s video, I want to talk about what I believe to be the least discussed and possibly the most important element involved to beat retroactive jealousy. 

If you’re struggling with your partner’s past, chances are good that at least at some point you’ve wondered: are my feelings rational or irrational

“Is my partner’s past actually a dealbreaker? Or am I just going a little crazy?”

“Does the fact that I can’t seem to stop thinking about my partner’s past indicate that maybe I should get a new partner? Maybe I’m in the wrong relationship, does my partner’s past matter?”

It’s crucial for me to note that not every retroactive jealousy sufferer struggles with the question of values, as I call it; with the question of whether their partner’s past is actually problematic. The question of whether or not their partner actually shares their values. The question of whether or not their partner’s past is actually a dealbreaker

In fact, many people struggling with unwanted intrusive thoughts and mental movies about their partner’s past know, at least 99% of the time, that their feelings are irrational. 

There are no real glaring red flags in their partner’s past. There is no actual cause for concern. 

Their partner shares their values. There’s nothing seriously problematic or questionable in their partner’s past. They just simply can’t stop thinking about it. Many retroactive jealousy sufferers feel that way. 

However, on top of the intrusive thoughts, many retroactive jealousy sufferers also have serious and often legitimate questions about their partner’s past. These questions are about their compatibility with their partner. As in, whether they’re in the right relationship, and whether their partner actually shares their values. 

Many retroactive jealousy sufferers fear that maybe they’re in the wrong relationship. 

how to beat retroactive jealousy faster

They found out certain details about their partner’s past that are problematic, and a potential warning sign for the future. And I don’t see a lot of people talking about this in the online retroactive jealousy space. 

In some ways, it’s easier to beat retroactive jealousy when you know that it’s irrational. When you realize , 99% of the time, that there are no serious dealbreakers, and no serious red flags.

But when you’re struggling with the intrusive thoughts, curiosity, and mental movies, and on top of that, you think maybe your partner’s past is actually a problem? Unfortunately, this can be a little more challenging.

I struggled with this once upon a time, a million years ago, when I was struggling with retroactive jealousy. And I would say around 75% to maybe 80% of my coaching clients also fit into this category. 

And over the years, I have worked with literally hundreds of men and women who have these questions… 

About their partner’s past, their compatibility with their partner, and whether their partner shares their values.

I have been on a number of extremely raw coaching calls with men and women from around the world. They shared with me the intimate details of their partner’s past, sharing their goals and aspirations and their values. They were baring their souls on a coaching call with me, trying to get to the bottom of their feelings about their partner’s past. And whether their feelings about their partner’s past are rational or not.

And the thing that I’ve discovered, above all, is that for people who have these questions about compatibility and values and red flags, and all the rest, for people that have these questions… The sooner they can get a handle and see things clearly, and understand whether their feelings are rational or not? This makes taking care of intrusive thoughts and curiosity so much easier. 

And once they sort out the question of their values for themselves, they start making unbelievably quick progress to beat retroactive jealousy for good. However:

The crucial component in that is they need to spend the time first to get clarity about their boundaries and values in order to get clarity about their partner’s past, 

…And whether it actually matters and clarity about whether to even continue in their current relationship. Which is why I want to talk to you today. 

Today, I am celebrating the release of my newest online video masterclass.

It’s called “The Path to Peace.”

I designed “The Path to Peace” for any retroactive jealousy sufferer who also has questions about their partner’s values, who question their partner’s compatibility with them, and who has questions about the future of their relationship. 

Basically, if you are struggling with retroactive jealousy–if you’re struggling with unwanted intrusive thoughts, and obsessive curiosity about your partner’s past… And, at the same time, you aren’t sure whether your partner’s past is actually a dealbreaker or not. You aren’t sure whether your partner shares your values. You think potentially there could be actual serious red flags in your partner’s past…

If that describes you, I created “The Path to Peace” for you. 

“The Path to Peace” is an all-new online video masterclass to help retroactive jealousy sufferers get clarity about their boundaries, their values, and the future of their relationship.

This new masterclass was based on a framework I’ve developed over almost a decade of one on one coaching; working with hundreds of clients who fit this description, struggling with the question of red flags in their partner’s past. Hundreds of clients who have come to me to help them get clarity about their boundaries, their values, and whether there is actually any cause for concern in their partner’s past. 

Because when you get clarity about the future of your relationship, clarity about whether your partner’s past actually matters or not… It becomes so much quicker and easier to beat retroactive jealousy. 

How to beat retroactive jealousy faster? Exercise rational thinking in the face of irrationality.

But the trick is: first, you need to spend that time to get clarity about who you are, and what you want, and whether your partner’s past is actually a problem. 

how to beat retroactive jealousy faster

In this all-new masterclass, I’ve compiled almost 10 years of lessons, hundreds of coaching calls and endless research, working with retroactive jealousy sufferers to get to the bottom of their values, their dealbreakers, and whether their partner’s past is actually a problem. 

“The Path to Peace” is the only online masterclass designed specifically for retroactive jealousy sufferers who have questions about their partner’s values.

Again, not every retroactive jealousy sufferer has these questions about whether their partner’s past matters or not. And this all-new online masterclass is for those that do.

“The Path to Peace” is for you if you’ve ever wondered whether your partner’s past actually matters. If you’ve ever gone back and forth about whether you should stay in your current relationship as a result of retroactive jealousy. Or If you continually struggle with the question of your partner’s values or morals, and you wonder about the risk factor involved in staying with them long term.

Finally, this class was designed for you if you aren’t sure about whether your partner shares your values, whether you should save your relationship, or continue working to beat retroactive jealousy.

After many months of recording and trial and error, and trying to get this just right, I’m so excited to announce the release of the path to peace.

how to beat retroactive jealousy faster

And so if you want to check out the details about “The Path to Peace” please click here.

The link will take you to a very detailed article about exactly what’s included. It’ll help you decide whether it’s right for you. 

I want to emphasize that this course this new masterclass is not about me trying to project my values onto you, or tell you exactly what you should do, or trying to prescribe my morals and values for you. 

It’s a specifically designed and very interactive framework to help you get the clarity and insight you need to arrive at your own conclusions; to get your own direction, to arrive at your own sense of peace of mind and mental clarity.

If you just follow the simple, time-tested framework outlined in the path to peace, you’ll arrive at the answers you need. 

Click here to drastically speed up your recovery from retroactive jealousy with “The Path to Peace.”

Zachary Stockill
Zachary Stockill

Hi! I'm a Canadian author and educator whose work has been featured in BBC News, BBC Radio 4, The Huffington Post, and many other publications. I'm the founder of, the author of Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy and The Overcoming Jealousy Workbook, and the host of Humans in Love podcast.