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How To Overcome Regrets In Life: My Thoughts [VIDEO]

In today’s video, I speak about how to overcome regrets in life.

Watch below to learn about how to overcome regrets in life.

Zachary Stockill: If you live long enough, it’s almost certain you’ll accumulate some regrets. But how do you begin letting them go and working through them?

That’s what I’ll try to answer in today’s short video.

I’m Zachary Stockill, and since 2013, I’ve been helping people from around the world overcome retroactive jealousy and save their relationships.

If you’d like to learn more about my work or explore one-on-one coaching, please click here.

Recently, I received a short email that inspired this video. The sender simply wrote, “I have regrets in life. How do I start overcoming them?” This is a big topic, but I’ll try to break it down into some key points.

First, if you have regrets, remember that dwelling on the past is time wasted.

I know that’s easier said than done, but let’s break it down a bit further.

At its core, it’s true that any time spent lamenting the past is wasted because there’s nothing you can do to change it. I can’t do anything about what happened five seconds ago, let alone ten years ago.

The only thing I have any control over is the present moment. So my main tip is to always keep this in mind: any time spent regretting the past is time lost.

That said, there’s an important point to keep in mind. The past has countless lessons to teach us.

I’ve learned so much from my own experiences—my mistakes, successes, failures, and everything in between.

That’s how we grow. We make mistakes, achieve goals, reflect on what happened, and use those lessons to move forward.

How to STOP One Vicious Cycle Of Retroactive Jealousy

Sometimes, reflecting on the past can be valuable. It allows you to uncover important lessons that need to be learned.

If you’re dwelling on something from your past, it likely holds a lesson, an insight, or some useful knowledge.

It could be something straightforward, like realizing you should never do that again, that you need to put more effort into a certain area, or that you should absolutely try to repeat something that worked well.”

Simply put, that’s often how regrets work: ‘I wish I hadn’t done that,’ or ‘I wish I had done that.’

Sometimes, there’s wisdom in those feelings, a lesson to be learned.

I’m not suggesting you ignore that—those lessons are incredibly valuable. That’s where the real insight lies when it comes to reflecting on or lamenting the past.

Learn the lesson that needs to be learned, and make sure to crystalize it. By that, I mean it’s not enough to just think about it and try to keep it in your mind.

I strongly recommend writing it down in a journal, recording a voice note, or using any method that helps you make the lesson more concrete.

Find a way to clearly express the lesson you’ve learned. Write it down, record it, or document it in a way that you can revisit later.

This is why many people keep a journal over the years.

The key is not to rely on your memory alone, because even the most important lessons can fade as time passes and life moves forward. So, solidify the lesson—learn it and make it tangible.

Then, as I mentioned earlier, focus all your time, energy, and attention on what you can control: the present moment. Use that focus to also plan and strategize for a better future.

Stoic philosophy has become very popular these days, and it seems like everyone is talking about it.

Stoicism is an ancient school of thought with a straightforward message: focus only on what is within your sphere of influence and disregard everything outside of it.

This means putting your energy into the present moment and working on building a better life, starting right now, starting today.

Remember, to be human is to be imperfect—that’s just part of being human. What I mean is, everyone has things they look back on and wish they hadn’t done.

It could be a single night they regret or, in some cases, even an entire decade they wish they could take back.

We all experience this to some extent, so remember that you’re not alone in having regrets. Everyone has regrets about the past, to varying degrees.

In my own life, I’ve found it easier to let go of regrets as I’ve come to realize that feeling sad over things I can’t change or influence is simply a waste of time.

For example, years ago, I was in a really foolish motorcycle accident that affected my health and even changed my appearance in some ways.

To say I had regrets would be an understatement—I was furious with myself for getting into that situation and bringing it upon myself.

Lifelong Retroactive Jealousy

I spent about a year beating myself up, feeling angry, and drowning in regret. But eventually, I realized that, at its core, all of this was just a waste of time.

I can’t build a time machine to go back a year and undo that accident or decide not to get on that motorcycle. What’s done is done, and there’s nothing I can do to change it.

But I want to keep living, build a better life, and make sure something like that never happens again.

So, my only real choice is to let go of that regret, focus on the present, and start planning and working toward a better future—because dwelling on the past is taking me nowhere.

Remember, the only real option we have is to let go, because we live in the present—and that’s all we have.

If you’d like more information about my work or you’d like to work with me one-on-one, please visit this page.

Zachary Stockill

About The Author

Hi! I'm a Canadian author, coach, and the founder of RetroactiveJealousy.com. Since 2013, my work has been featured in BBC News, BBC Radio 4, HuffPost, and many other publications.

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