How to Stop Retroactive Jealousy: “Begin With a Win” [VIDEO]

Podcast: Play in new window

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | RSS

In today’s video, I’m going to share some big lessons that I learned over the past year. I’m also going to talk about how this can help you beat retroactive or obsessive jealousy as soon as possible.

Read on to learn more about how to effectively stop retroactive jealousy.

Zachary Stockill: Have you’ve heard of a book called Eat That Frog? What does that title indicate? The basic premise of this book is the discovery that willpower is a finite resource, and we use it up gradually over the day. We need to strengthen our ability to finish the tasks that we need to finish even if we don’t necessarily want to finish those tasks.

Our willpower is highest in the morning.

And thus the whole idea behind Eat That Frog is basically to get your least favorite task done as early in the day as possible because doing this sets a great tone for the rest of your day. The rest of the day often seems easier by comparison and it’s easier to “Eat That Frog” in the morning as opposed to the afternoon.

So over the past year, in particular, I’ve cultivated this habit in my own life. I’ve been big on the power of lists lately. The power of keeping all kinds of lists related to different areas of your life. So you always have clarity, focus, and direction regarding what you need to get done and what you want to get done regarding how to stop retroactive jealousy.

I have found two things that made a big difference in my life over the past twelve months. The first thing is starting my day with a win. The second thing is getting my most important task done in the morning. So, start my day with a win. What does that mean? In recent months, I’ve experimented with different morning routines over the years with varying degrees of success and consistency. And at the moment, my morning routine is pretty simple: it involves meditation, gratitude, reviewing affirmations and goals for the day.

But the point is, it’s a morning routine. It is literally the first thing I do during the week, during my work days.

I’m starting the day with this routine and it feels great to start the day doing something productive. Some mornings when I’m not entirely in the mood, meditation can be tough. Sometimes it’s like, “Oh, do I really want to do that?” And I ignore that voice in my head; I do it because I know it needs to get done. I know my willpower is highest in the morning and it feels great when I do it. And I can check that off of my list. I’m starting the day with a win.

If you want to learn how to stop retroactive jealousy, you can easily apply this idea to your own life. Start your day with a win. For example, if you’re a student, taking my online course, Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast, start the day with a lecture. Start the day with one of the exercises and one of the guided meditations in that course.

There are all kinds of different avenues you can choose and different options that the course gives you to start your day with a win.

When you do this, it sets a great foundation for the rest of your day. And over time, you’ll actually look forward to getting up in the morning more and more.

The second habit that I’ve instilled in my own life is getting my most important task done in the morning. I try to finish this most important task as early in the day as I can so it’s almost like the rest of the day is “going downhill.” I’m doing other tasks that I enjoy a lot more, and thus I’m not dreading the rest of my day, afternoon and evening. I’m not procrastinating.

For example, if there’s a certain lecture in my course that you’ve been putting off but you’re slightly nervous about watching it, get that done in the morning. Also, a basic mindfulness routine is going to help you overcome retroactive jealousy over the long term.

If you hate meditation and you don’t like mindfulness, do it in the morning.

Because, number one, that might be a win for the morning. And number two, if you’re in the trenches with retroactive jealousy or obsessive jealousy, that could very well be your most important task of the day. So, get it done early, get it out of the way, so the rest of the day seems relatively easy by comparison.

Eat That Frog and start your day off with a win. And again, I’ve been disciplined to different degrees throughout my life when it comes to morning routines in general…

I never considered myself a morning person, but over the past year, most mornings, I look forward to the morning. I’m energized and I’m inspired. And I think a big reason why I’ve turned into more of a morning person in particular over the past year or so is that I start my day with these habits.

I know that I’m going to start my day on a positive note. And I know that I’m going to get my most important task done early, so I can enjoy the rest of my day a lot more.