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In today’s video, I’m going to share a powerful exercise that will teach you how to stop wasting time today.
Watch or read below to discover how to stop wasting time in life.
Zachary Stockill: So I have done the research, I’ve done the surveys, and I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on my audience. And a commonly recurring theme is people feeling like they’re wasting time, people feeling like they’re wasting their lives, people feeling like they’re wasting their relationships with retroactive jealousy, obsessive jealousy, or anything else.
In today’s video, I’m going to share a strange but powerful exercise that you can try that will instantly cut through the noise, and will help you stop wasting time today. This is not hype. This is a fact.
So first off, this is not an idea that I came up with. This is not an original thought, this is not an original concept. But I don’t hear a lot of people talk about this for obvious reasons.
If you’ve been watching my channel for a while, you’ve probably heard me say on at least one occasion:
You’re going to die one day. I’m going to die. We’re all going to die. And none of this is going to matter very soon.
Whatever nonsense you’re dealing with right now, as you’re watching this video, in your personal life, or your dating life, work life, whatever it is… very soon, it’s probably not going to matter very much.
And it’s not going to matter half as much as you may imagine it to matter right now. And of course, how do I know that?
People fall into this trap of overthinking and thinking things matter more than they do. That used to be me not so long ago… that used to be me, frequently getting lost in overthinking and worry and stupid anxiety and my girlfriend’s past and all this nonsense that, it turns out, doesn’t matter at all.
So how to stop wasting time? How do you cut through all the nonsense quickly? Can you cut through all this time-wasting and needless worry and anxiety? How can you cut through that very quickly?
You can go to a graveyard and spend some time.
Okay, if you’re still watching, if you’re still with me, congratulations. Because some people will click off that, and immediately they’ll say, “Go to a graveyard? What are you talking about? That’s morbid, right?” It’s what we say in the Western world. That’s the word we associate with things like death and funerals and graveyards and things.
“Oh, we can’t focus on that. That’s being morbid. It’s depressing.”
The only thing we know for sure about life is that it ends, and we spend most of our life trying to deny the fact that we are all going to die.
Now you probably know this intellectually, but how do you get a handle on that in a way that is slightly more tactile, in a way that is more tangible? In a way that makes a little more sense? And in a way where it’s even more clear, that will send the message even deeper into your hindbrain?
In my experience, one of the ways you can do this is by literally going to a graveyard. (Not when there’s a funeral, not when there are lots of people around.)
Go to a graveyard.
Walk around, feel the earth, read the gravestones, and read the names of the people who are lying there today.
Read their dates of birt. Some of them died very young. Others were your age when they died. And some of them were much younger than us. And of course, some of them were much older.
But the point is all of these stories end.
When I go through graveyards, sometimes there are pictures on the tombstones. And you can kind of get a sense for the person, sometimes based on the epitaph, based on what’s written on their tombstone, based on maybe a picture of them that is still there.
And by the way, obviously, I’m not saying intrude on people’s funerals and intrude on people’s mourning and that kind of thing. But the fact is, most graveyards are empty of the living; there’s nobody there. So it’s very easy. And you can still do this and be respectful, walking around and simply considering how short our time on this rock truly is.
The ancient Stoics recommended this thousands of years ago. If you don’t know by now, Stoicism is one of my favorite schools of philosophy. There is all kinds of wisdom there for living a great life and evolving as a person.
It was enormously helpful to me when I was struggling with retroactive jealousy.
But this is an exercise recommended by one of the Stoic philosophers. I don’t remember which one. But this really struck a chord with me, and I have done this a few times in my life during a period when I felt like I needed some change. Maybe I needed some new mental frameworks. I felt like I was wasting time; I was feeling unmotivated or lazy.
Just take a little walk around a graveyard and think and really feel the fact that life ends. That our time spinning on this rock in the sky comes to an end.
We don’t know how much time we have left. I guarantee that some of the gravestones you’re walking by… some of those graves are filled with people who thought they had way more time than they actually had. Sometimes people get cancer and die very young, or there are car accidents. Life is unpredictable, right?
We all know this intellectually, but in my experience actually walking around In a place like this, and pausing and sitting on a bench and really sitting with death in a way that is visual and real… To my mind, at least, this helps this message sink in, that our time is limited.
We need to stop wasting time. And we need to cut through the nonsense and BS in our lives right now. Because there’s no time. That night you waste, you know, arguing with your girlfriend or asking her endless questions about her past or whatever…
That’s one less night in your life that you are never going to get back.
That night could have been amazing. You guys could have had the best sex ever. She could have opened her body and her soul up to you in a way that she’s never done before. Just an example. But the point is, you’re never going to get that night back. So what are you waiting for?
You think you have more time? And maybe you do. I hope you do. I really do. But you don’t know for sure.
I hope I have more time, I plan on living to 100. At least that’s my goal, that’s Zach’s mission for the future. But guess what? Anything can happen. I can get hit by a bus today, I can get deathly ill in a month or two. Anything can happen. I don’t know how much time I have left.
So guess what? I’m going to enjoy today. I’m going to enjoy the hell out of recording this weird video on YouTube that a lot of people are going to not like. And I’m going to enjoy getting in the pool later and having a swim with my girlfriend. I’m going to enjoy the glass of wine that I’m having once I get all my work done.
I’m going to enjoy the hell out of today because I know that tomorrow is not guaranteed.
A few of you will actually do this. And by a few, I mean like 0.1% of the people reading or watching this. But the few of you who do? I hope you get the message of this exercise, because I think you if you actually do this. Go to a graveyard, be respectful, and just kind of sit with death in a way that is very real and very tangible.
You might be surprised how much this helps you to reconceptualize your life; to reconceptualize the amount of time you think you have; to cut through the nonsense in your head, cut through the overthinking, and help you remember what’s truly important, today and tomorrow.
If you need more help with overthinking and worry and anxiety about your partner’s past, or with retroactive jealousy in general, please check out my flagship online course “Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast” or consider signing up for one-on-one coaching with me.