ManTalks is a personal development website focused on sharing stories from “men making a difference.”
This week I was invited to appear on the ManTalks Podcast to share my story, and talk about retroactive jealousy.
If you’re a man (or woman, for that matter) currently struggling with retroactive jealousy, I really think you’ll want to listen.
In this free podcast, I share some key perspectives and strategies for identifying and confronting retroactive jealousy, and moving forward. (I also talk a bit about my other writing, meeting a former Beatle (!), as well as my new podcast.)
Take a listen to the interview below:
Some key takeaways:
[2:20] One of my defining moments
[5:05] What I do
[4:50] What ‘retroactive jealousy’ means
[7:00] My experience with retroactive jealousy
[9:35] Men tend to have extreme double standards towards women who have done the same sort of sexual activities men have done in the past.
[10:05] A lot of men try to figure out a woman’s past to see if it’s in line with their ideal values.
[11:40] Stop talking with your partner about their past – for now. Here’s why.
[13:00] What do you value in your relationship and what do you value in your partner?
[15:30] Own your problem. This is not your partner’s problem.
[17:40] Some men might believe that if they hooked up with an angel of a woman, then their relationship would be so much better. Of course, this is just not true.
[19:10] There’s a lot of shame around jealousy.
[19:15] What can men do to open up this conversation?
[20:10] The problem doesn’t resolve on its own. You have to step in and do the work.
You can also find the podcast on iTunes (I’m episode 53).