In today’s video, I’m going to talk about the virtues and benefits of meditation. I’m also going to dispel some of the myths around meditation.

So: why is meditation for beating jealousy so helpful?

Zachary Stockill: So I posted a poll recently on my YouTube channel, asking about how often my audience meditates and the answers surprised me. It was something like “a few times a day, a few times a week, never,” or something in between. Basically, over half of the respondents to the poll said they never meditate.

There are a lot of nonsense ideas out there around the topic of meditation.

In some ways, meditation is oversold and overhyped. Sometimes people prescribe medication as the cure-all to life’s ills when in reality, meditation is an enormous tool, but it’s not the only tool you need in your toolbox.

I want to take this opportunity to dispel a few myths around meditation, in hopes that more of you will try for yourself and experience the incredible benefits of meditation. The main reason I’m such a big advocate for meditation when it comes to retroactive jealousy is that I have experienced the incredible benefits of it. I have way too much evidence that meditation works, I’ve got all kinds of stories from students in my online courses and coaching clients when it comes to this particular issue.

Meditation can help you disconnect from thoughts that aren’t serving you. It can help you reorient your brain towards more productive thought patterns. It can help you break certain destructive painful negative thought patterns. There are all kinds of benefits to meditation, particularly when it comes to this issue of retroactive jealousy. Meditation for beating jealousy can be incredibly effective.

Myth number one, when it comes to meditation is, “I don’t have time to meditate”.

There’s this idea out there that you need hours and hours every day to start a meditation practice, and this is simply wrong. The most important component when you’re building a meditation routine is not the length of time. If you only have five minutes every day, and you meditate for literally five minutes every single morning, that is way better than meditating for one hour, once a week. The most important thing is just to build the habit. So no matter how busy you are, if you have a free five minutes, you can build a meditation routine that you can devote to meditation. Five minutes every day will make a difference over time. You don’t need hours and hours and hours of free time.

Myth number two, “I can’t meditate because of my religion”.

There are obviously different schools of meditation. There are straight-up meditation cults and creepy cult leaders who say that they’re meditators, and they’re trying to sell meditation, that’s not what I’m talking about. Aside from all the spiritual benefits of meditation, there are enormous practical benefits to meditation that have nothing to do with religion or your faith or whatever.

I’ve been to two extended meditation retreats where you’re basically living like a monk for 10 days. At these retreats, there were Christians, Jews, Hindus, Muslims, Buddhists, atheists, agnostics, and the list goes on. So as far as I know, there is no religion in the world that says you can’t meditate.

It’s not about conflict with your religion or your spiritual beliefs, or your belief in God or your non-belief in God, Jesus, Mohammed, or anything like that. Meditation is an incredibly valuable tool, a practical tool that can help you disconnect from thoughts that aren’t serving you, that can help you gain greater clarity and peace of mind.

And as far as I know, every religion is okay with the idea of gaining greater peace of mind. So no matter what religion you are, no matter if you’re an atheist or not, you can find some school or method for meditation that you will find useful.

Myth number three, “Meditation is hard”.

Meditation for beating jealousy can be challenging sometimes.

I often compare building a meditation routine to going to the gym. There have been some experiences where I’ve taken three months off from the gym, and when I go back to the gym, lifting weights is hard. I feel my body the next day, if I do a heavy squat day or a heavy leg day, the next day, I can barely walk. It’s hard, but it gets easier and easier over time. The more I build up the habit and this routine, the more my body gets used to working out. Meditation is very much the same.

So for example, if you’re meditating, day two will likely be better than day one, day three will likely be better than day two, and on and on. You’re going to have challenging moments and days, you’re going to have days when you’re sitting there, you’re meditating and it seems like the intrusive thoughts come and it’s difficult to shake them, but meditation isn’t hard, it’s challenging and that’s a key distinction.

When you frame something as “hard,” you’re losing sight of all the benefits that this “hard” thing can offer you. I think that one lesson that I learned probably a little later in life than I should have, is hard work feels good. Yes, it’s hard, but it feels good, it’s worth it. I like hard work. It’s energizing and there are incredible benefits to my hard work. Meditation is challenging sometimes, but I wouldn’t frame it as being “hard.”

Myth number four, “I tried meditation once, I didn’t like it. I don’t think it’s for me. I don’t think that I have the ability to meditate.”

My feeling in this regard is, if you are a human being in the modern world, you have the ability to meditate. Now it might take some trial and error. You might want to look around YouTube, or my channel, or anything else, find a different school, practice, or technique that works for you because there are different practices out there. So shop around a bit, but I do believe that you will find at least one meditation technique that works for you.

And frankly, if you’re a human being in the modern world, all the chaos and how busy our lives are, and how full our brains are, all kinds of random thoughts and random bits of information that are sort of pelted at us all day, it’s in your best interest to start some kind of basic mindfulness practice. This is true for the overwhelming majority of humans on the planet today, regardless of whether or not they struggle with something called retroactive jealousy, or not.

Modern life is incredibly hectic and stressful. Human beings have not been living in this “information overload” world for very long. We haven’t evolved properly to catch up with the modern world and all the challenges it poses to our mental health, to our sense of calm and sense of well-being.

So, if you’re a human being in the modern world, it’s in your best interest to do meditation for beating jealousy. Again, aside from jealousy, it’s just an incredible tool to sort of stay grounded, stay calm, and get work done. Focus on what really matters, and in general, enjoy a greater sense of calm and tranquil peace of mind throughout your day.


Zachary Stockill
Zachary Stockill

Hi! I'm a Canadian author and educator whose work has been featured in BBC News, BBC Radio 4, The Huffington Post, and many other publications. I'm the founder of RetroactiveJealousy.com, the author of Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy and The Overcoming Jealousy Workbook, and the host of Humans in Love podcast.