My primary message: stop living like you have more time, because unfortunately, you may not.

Read or watch below to learn more about my message for the new year…

Zachary Stockill: There’s a reason why I’m recording this video right now on my phone instead of my fancy camera and without the intro and without the preamble that I usually try to offer you. I have a few things that I wanted to share in this video. 

But number one, I wanted to share my primary message for 2023 any retroactive jealousy sufferers, any jealousy sufferers, or struggling with anything relating to intrusive thoughts or curiosity, or any kind of anxiety…

My message to you for 2023 is to stop living like you have more time, because unfortunately, you may not.

What do I mean by that? As you know if you’ve been watching the videos on my channel for a while, I try to make it a point to share messages that I feel my audience needs to hear, and not necessarily the messages that they want to hear. 

And the message that I feel most compelled to put out lately is around the idea of considering the fact of death.

Considering the fact that you may not have as much time left on this rock spinning in the sky as you think.

message for 2023

One unfortunate fact of life is that life often ends before the people involved are ready. Before anyone’s ready to let go. And I think that many of our psychological problems stem from this basic unwillingness to consider our death. 

This basic delusion that we think we always think we have more time than we actually do. 

Not fully appreciating or realizing how precarious life is, and how quickly things can change. And how crucially important it is that we make the most of every single moment, every day, every hour, every week, every month, and on and on. 

Usually, when I record these videos, I set up my fancy new camera, and I try to get the temperature in the room just right. I tell my girlfriend downstairs to you know, try to keep it down, “I’m recording,” and I want to do it when I look as good as possible…

And I’m realizing that, even just setting up to record this message today… 

I’m a hypocrite. I’m acting like I have more time than, maybe, I actually do. 

And my camera’s battery needs to be charged, and I’ve got all these things that I need to do. And “oh, I’ll record the video tomorrow, and I’ll put this message out there tomorrow or next week or whatever…” I’m being a hypocrite. 

So I didn’t want to do that. Which is why I’m recording this on my phone.

And I was reading a book last night by Cynthia Lennon. I was reading John Lennon’s ex-wife’s memoir.

And I’m reading towards the end of the book where Cynthia is talking about how John was making all these plans toward the end of his life. He wanted to come back to England to see his family who he hadn’t seen in many years. He wanted to grow closer to his son, who he had largely neglected through the first, you know, 17 or so years of his son’s life.

He wanted to be a better father. He thought he had more time. 

And then one day as he was returning home to his apartment from a recording session, as many of you know, some deranged “fan” shot and killed him. And he bled out and died on the steps of his apartment building at 40 years old. Most of you probably know the story. And we hear stories about this kind of thing all the time. 

We hear stories about celebrities dying young. Or we watch the news, and we see that someone got hit by a car, unfortunately, or someone was abducted… We hear all these stories, and we think, “oh, that’s only other people. That only happens to other people. That could never happen to me. That could never happen to my family…”

We always think it’s other people whose lives are cut short. 

message for 2023

But of course, you probably realize that it isn’t always other people. In fact, sometimes we become the objects of pity.

Before my mother got sick and died way too young, I thought, “oh, it’s really only other people’s mothers who get sick and die from cancer…”

And on some level, we’re buying into this notion that it’s only other people who have to confront death. It’s only other people who have to deal with these things. When, of course, that isn’t true. 

At the beginning of this wonderful new year, in the spirit of the holiday, in the spirit of renewal, and the spirit of turning over a new page, I urge anyone out there watching this who’s struggling with retroactive jealousy, who’s struggling with intrusive thoughts, who’s struggling with obsessive jealousy in their relationship, struggling with anxiety: use the tools that you need to use. Find the information you need to get better. 

Do whatever you need to do to start getting a handle on your brain. And Lord knows, I provide a lot of tools on my website, and elsewhere. And a lot of other people provide great tools as well. 

But above all: stop buying into the lie that you have more time. Because, maybe, you don’t. 

And the end destination for all of us is the same. We’re all going to end up in some box in the ground someday. And very soon, none of this is going to matter very much at all. It’s not going to matter.

Because our chance will be over our chance to enjoy our life. Our chance to enjoy the people around us, and our chance to make the most of every day, will end. It’s a guaranteed fact. So let’s stop pretending otherwise. 

And beyond that, Happy New Year. I wish you love health, happiness, prosperity, and all those good things.

Click here to join thousands of other retroactive jealousy success cases, and learn more about my flagship online course, “Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast.”

Zachary Stockill
Zachary Stockill

Hi! I'm a Canadian author and educator whose work has been featured in BBC News, BBC Radio 4, The Huffington Post, and many other publications. I'm the founder of, the author of Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy and The Overcoming Jealousy Workbook, and the host of Humans in Love podcast.