In today’s video, I’d like to share another perspective which I believe is absolutely essential for anyone working toward overcoming obsessive jealousy or retroactive jealousy.

Overcoming obsessive jealousy becomes much easier if you keep this in mind.

Transcript below

Zachary Stockill: A quick reminder before I get into it, that my brand new online course for dealing with any kind of obsessive or retroactive jealousy is available right now.

It’s called the Overcoming Jealousy Blueprint and I’m offering the course and thousands of dollars worth of bonuses at an exclusive, limited time only, introductory price.

You can find all the details right now at jealousycourse.com or you can simply click here.

And just a quick reminder that the course will never be this affordable ever again, so I’d encourage you, if you at all are interested in exploring more of my work, getting access to hours and hours of high definition content on this topic, which you won’t find anywhere else, please click here to learn more.

Okay, once again, I’m speaking about a fellow Canadian–a controversial guy named Jordan Peterson.

Again, polarizing figure, but in my view, it’s absolutely undeniable that the man shares some really profound wisdom, which is extremely relevant in particular, for anyone working toward overcoming obsessive jealousy, irrational jealousy, retroactive jealousy, anything like that.

One of the chapters in his very famous book, I think it was like one of the best-selling books of 2019, 12 Rules for Life

One of the chapters is called: Compare Yourself With Who You Were Yesterday, Not With Who Someone Else Is Today.

This is, in my view, the best way that you can track your progress as you’re working toward overcoming obsessive jealousy or retroactive jealousy.

Sometimes people ask me, how do I know that I’m really making progress?

And maybe these people aren’t necessarily enrolled in an online course. Maybe they’re not necessarily reading a book.

They don’t really have a plan to follow, so it makes things a little more challenging for them.

But they’re wondering about how they know if they’re really making progress and in my mind, this is the easiest way for you to know for yourself, whether or not you’re on the right track. Whether or not you’re actually making progress. Whether or not what you’re doing is actually working.

Because if you wake up every single day after taking little to no action the day or the days before, and you compare yourself with where you were in the previous day, or day or two before, and you find that you’re kind of stuck, you’re feeling kind of stagnant, you haven’t made a lot of progress. Maybe you’re still haunted by constant mental movies about your partner’s past day and night. Maybe you’re still getting really lousy sleep at night. Maybe you still have that horrible, sick feeling in the pit of your stomach during most of the day.

If you find yourself feeling this way, day after day, after day after day, it’s a pretty good indication that it’s time to change.

That it’s time to try something new.

Alternatively, if you actually are putting in the work, if you’re actually committed in whichever way is best for you, whatever the term commitment means to you.

If you’re actually committed to an online course, or a guidebook, or a therapist, or a psychologist, or a coach, whatever it is, if you’re actually committed, if you’re actually taking action and you wake up on consecutive mornings and you check in with yourself, am I feeling better today than I felt yesterday? Am I feeling better today than I felt last week?

That’s a great way to measure your progress.

It’s a great way to sort of reinforce to your subconscious, that you are indeed on the right track.

And it’s the best indication that whatever you’re doing is working for you.

However, there’s an important caveat that I think is also worth mentioning here.

So if you see videos online from other retroactive, jealousy suffers, who’ve miraculously cured their retroactive jealousy in a week or two, or you read posts online from other retroactive jealousy suffers who’ve had a much easier time of things than you, don’t get discouraged.

Don’t compare your situation to them because you’re dealing with things that maybe they have no idea how to deal with.

You’re bearing a certain load, a certain burden, that they are not bearing. So don’t compare yourself to other people or other retroactive jealousy or obsessive jealousy suffers; compare yourself to who you were yesterday.

However, if you are serious about overcoming obsessive jealousy, chances are good you will encounter certain bumps in the road.

And by bumps in the road, I mean a certain hour or a certain day sometimes, when you feel like you haven’t made exactly all the progress that you hope to make.

In essence, as the brain is adjusting to a new reality, free from retroactive jealousy, there will be the occasional setback.

I certainly experienced that back, million years ago when I was struggling with retroactive jealousy, many other sufferers experienced this to varying extents.

So if you do encounter a bump in the road, don’t worry. It happens to the best of us.

It’s not a big deal and your recovery from these bumps in the road, if you remain committed to the work, will get quicker and quicker and quicker and pretty soon the bumps in the road will be pretty much nonexistent.

But again, not to sound like a broken record, so much of this comes down to really being committed, to really putting in the work and not comparing yourself to other people, but instead comparing yourself to who you were yesterday.

Thanks for watching this video. I hope you benefited from this.

One more quick reminder that my brand new online course on jealousy, The Overcoming Jealousy Blueprint, a step-by-step proven eight weeks system for anyone dealing with obsessive jealousy, retroactive jealousy, anything like that.

It’s available right now and if you enroll in the course right now you’ll snag an exclusive limited-time introductory price discount and it’s my way of saying thank you to all of you watching this video and supporting my work.

Click here to learn more about my new course on overcoming obsessive jealousy and/or retroactive jealousy.


Zachary Stockill
Zachary Stockill

Hi! I'm a Canadian author and educator whose work has been featured in BBC News, BBC Radio 4, The Huffington Post, and many other publications. I'm the founder of RetroactiveJealousy.com, the author of Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy and The Overcoming Jealousy Workbook, and the host of Humans in Love podcast.