Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy: Reflections One Year Later…

** Note: A version of this article appeared in the Huffington Post.

I can’t believe it’s already been one year. A year ago I was sitting in front of my computer in Vancouver, Canada, putting the finishing touches on Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy, and preparing it for publication.

I had just created this blog and didn’t yet have much of an audience.  After all, I was doing basically zero promotion, and I wasn’t sure how many others out there struggled with retroactive jealousy like I did.

So I published the book (very quietly, and using a pseudonym). I did it to chronicle my own experiences with crippling retroactive jealousy, and to show others how to overcome it as I had done. I was (and am) proud of it. However, given my tiny audience, at first, I thought I might sell four or five copies a month.

How wrong I was.

Flash forward to today:

This blog is the most visited website on the internet concerning retroactive jealousy (visitors from over 110 countries to date!). I’ve sold almost a thousand copies of the guidebook (not bad for a self-published e-book). I’ve connected with hundreds of men and women all over the world who have sent me letters describing their experiences with retroactive jealousy, and my book. I take on a small, but growing number of coaching clients to help them overcome RJ. I have created a bestselling online course and gathered an awesome community of RJ sufferers working together to get this thing beat.

On a more personal note, life has never been better. My website has enabled me to spend the last seven months traveling in South America, living in the most beautiful city in Colombia, and doing what I love for a living. I share an awesome apartment with some awesome friends. The new book (details coming soon!) is about 50% done, and I think it might be the finest thing I’ve ever done. My readership is growing and, thanks to people like you, I think I might be able to make a go of it as a full-time writer.

Life is really, really good.

That is NOT to say, however, that I haven’t faced some real challenges.

For example, over the past year I’ve learned:

• Communicating to your audience without sounding like a sleazy salesman is difficult. I do what I do because I honestly believe that my work helps people, and can change their lives. Communicating that effectively can sometimes be difficult. The sleazy online salesman makes a ton of money because they make empty promises and people eat them up. I don’t do that, and therefore I don’t make as many sales as them.
• Imitation might be the sincerest form of flattery, but it’s still kind of annoying. Since I published the guidebook, a couple of other “writers” have tried to copy it and cash in. Lame.
• I need to become a more consistent writer. I wrote Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy in one big spurt, and it came out great. But I want to grow and become a more consistent, clear, and affecting writer. That takes consistent, constant practice.
• Entrepreneurship involves taking a lot of risks. The first week of this month was my most profitable as a small businessman and writer. The past week has been my least profitable, without a clear explanation in sight. Don’t become an entrepreneur if you’re not prepared to take on a lot of financial, and emotional instability.

But I’ve learned a lot of really cool things too. For example…

• I have the power to help people in a big way. My book and video course have helped hundreds of people all over the world get past their partner’s past, move on from jealousy, and find peace. I can’t begin to tell you how satisfied that makes me feel.
• I should have created a course and community much sooner. I’ve discovered that my community attracts dynamic, brave, inspired, and inspiring human beings, and it’s awesome to learn from them and grow together.
• Life gets a LOT better when you live life on your own terms, and let go of the expectations of others. Seriously.
• I really love the ukulele. Seriously. I’ve played guitar for years but just picked up a uke a few months ago. I’ve barely put it down since.

Let me tell you: I can’t wait to see what the next year brings.

With your support, insight, and feedback, I plan to keep improving this website, write more books, expand my course and community.

And, continue to be the number 1 online authority when it comes to overcoming retroactive jealousy.

But I know there will be lots of bumps in the road, and surprises along the way, and that’s just fine by me. I hope you’ll join me to see what happens (join my newsletter at the bottom of this page and say hi!)

Aging is nothing if not the constant re-evaluation and reorganization of expectations. My expectations for the next year are fluid. I expect there to be many trials and tribulations, but hopefully also a few triumphs along the way.

However the next year of my life progresses, I am certain of one thing: I am doing exactly what I should be doing at this moment in my life, and all things will proceed exactly as they should.

The universe has a funny way of taking care of you if you let it.

From the bottom of my heart: thank you for your support.

I couldn’t do this without you. Over the past year, you have supported and encouraged my dreams and enabled me to do what I love for a living. And there’s no better feeling than that.

So once again, thank you so much. Let’s all keep growing and learning, and becoming better, stronger people together.

Yours,

Zachary