Today, I’m sharing an inspiring conversation with Matt, as well as his story of overcoming retroactive jealousy, a former student from my online course, “Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast.”
Read or watch, below to learn more about Matt’s story of overcoming retroactive jealousy.
Zachary: Thank you so much for doing this. I really appreciate it.
Matt: You’re welcome. Very welcome.
Matt: Well, first of all, like before, it wasn’t ever an issue maybe because I was never really in love, I guess. Then I was in a relationship, where things got very serious, I was really in love with that person. And yeah, everything was going going going well. And then I found some things out about her past, which triggered something. It was just overwhelming. And I didn’t really know what to do.
Because on the one side, I really loved this person. And on the other, I had, like, some info regarding her past that made me feel not in a good way at all.
And then you get into the circle of just staying in your head and asking questions, and then trying to find more information. Also, at the same time, I couldn’t just break up because I loved this person too much.
Eventually, I was like, okay, I mean, maybe time to look for outside solutions. And then that’s when I came across your course, and I was like, okay, I’ll give it a shot. It shifted the focus on retroactive jealousy itself. Because, it was just like the tip of the iceberg. And, then once you get to the lecture, the deeper underlying issues, then you realize that those issues impact retroactive jealousy, but they were also impacting other areas of my life.
Zachary: Were you ever afraid that your relationship is going to end specifically because of retroactive jealousy?
Matt: Yeah. I mean, at one point, as I said earlier…
I felt trapped in the sense that I couldn’t really stay because there was this one thing that was just consuming me and hurting me so much.
But at the same time, breaking up was also going to be very hurtful.
Zachary: What were some of the main benefits that you got out of the course?
Matt: I mean, the main one was just like, putting my relationship with myself at the center of the story. One thing that also liked helped a lot was, saying that it wasn’t the other person’s role to deal with retroactive jealousy. It was just me, and I did something that I needed to do.
And yeah, maybe without this course, I wouldn’t have been able to pinpoint that this was an issue that resulted from how I viewed the world, the relationship I had with myself. So yeah, going through the course definitely helped me and highlighted the areas where I could make some improvements.
Zachary: And so, how would you say you compare your feelings now, too, before you found my course?
Matt: When I started, it was like six years ago. And a lot has been done. As I said…
The overcoming retroactive jealousy story was, just like the tip of the iceberg in one area of my life.
And then when I started to dig a little deeper and see that there were like, underlying issues. And, then I focused on those. And, working on that many other areas in my life actually started to improve as well.
So yeah, I’m a completely different person than I was six years ago. We all change, but this was very, very radical.
Zachary: Great, great to hear. And, yeah, before I let you go, just thanks again for doing this. Because I know these recordings mean a lot to people who can relate to it.
And my last question for you, is what would you tell anyone who is looking for a way for overcoming retroactive jealousy, who’s maybe on the fence about starting my course?
Matt: Just give it a go. There is absolutely nothing to lose, and for the price, and what it’s brought me, that was just a huge bargain.
And aside from just retroactive jealousy itself, dealing with that issue is a gift, in a sense. It’s hard to see when you’re in it. And, you’re feeling so much pain and feeling like you’re just trapped and there is no way out….
When you’re talking about dealing with your own overcoming retroactive jealousy story, and accepting yourself fully, all of those things will go a long way for so many other areas of your life.
This is a gift in the sense that it’s a door to an entirely new version of yourself that is happier, more fulfilled, more accepting, and more empathetic.
So, start. Don’t try to just solve it magically. That’s not something that will just disappear. It still requires some work, to adopt those new ways of thinking, acting and feeling, and you just have to repeat them enough, and tell yourself a new story. Anything that is in the past is just what led them and led you to where you are.
So more than accept it, now, I try as much as possible to embrace it. It’s hard to do with the other person when you’re in retroactive jealousy. But starting with yourself will go a long way.
Because, when you see how much it changes you, and how much helps you, then you naturally start doing the same for others. And that’s when retroactive jealousy gradually disappears.