The Real Key To Getting Over Your Partner’s Past

Let’s say you want to build a house. So you go the bank and take out a loan. You buy a plot of land. You buy lumber, siding, concrete, etc. You find some house-building books and plans, and talk to others who’ve built houses similar to the one you envision for yourself. You spend hours sitting on your…

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“Getting over my girlfriend’s past and moving forward”

Earlier this week I received a kind and inspiring letter from a student taking my Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast video course. Let’s call him Devon. In the letter, Devon shared details of his lifelong struggles with retroactive jealousy, his relationship, and his determination to get over his girlfriend’s past, and get retroactive jealousy beat: Hi…

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An Easy Way To Stop Jealous Thoughts In Their Tracks

In my guidebook on overcoming retroactive jealousy, I emphasize that no thought can have power over you without your permission. When a jealous thought, or “mental movie” takes hold, some part of you is giving that thought power to disrupt your day. When you let an unwanted thought get to you, on some level you…

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What You Need To Know About Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy (Part II)

What follows is Part II of my Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy Manifesto. Read Part I here.   6.) There will be temporary setbacks as you work to overcome retroactive jealousy. Not “maybe” or “perhaps:” you will experience the odd bump on the road to overcoming retroactive jealousy. As I’ve written before: There will be periods of time…

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Retroactive Jealousy OCD: Two Simple Tricks For Letting Go Of Unwanted Thoughts

When people ask me the question “Is retroactive jealousy a form of obsessive compulsive disorder?” I generally try to steer the conversation toward possible solutions, rather than discussing theory. I do this because I think giving retroactive jealousy an intimidating label such as “OCD” makes it seem bigger, scarier, and harder to overcome. I’ve tried to avoid…

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What You Need To Know About Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy (Part I)

In the year+ that this blog has been active, I’ve responded to hundreds and hundreds of emails from readers just like you. I’ve heard every story concerning retroactive jealousy that you can imagine (and probably a few you can’t). I’ve received moving letters from cancer survivors, Moroccan hash smokers, and just about every other type of…

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Mailbag: “What I’ve learned from overcoming retroactive jealousy”

One of the major perks of being an author and educator is getting letters from people who have been impacted by your work. It’s gratifying, to say the least. Earlier this week I sent an email to my mailing list (sign up using the sidebar on the right) asking people what they’ve learned since beginning to…

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Learn How To Party Through Your Pain

Note: the following is an excerpt from my latest e-book, Everyday Joy: Or, How To Be Happier and Healthier, and Party All The Time. This article also appeared on The Huffington Post. ___________________ IN LATE NOVEMBER OF 2008 I spent the majority of my days sitting cross legged on the cold floor of a meditation hall…

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Mailbag: Dealing With Obsessive Curiosity and Retroactive Jealousy

I recently got an email from a reader named Eric dealing with “hitting a wall,” and his intense curiosity regarding his girlfriend’s diary: Dear Zach,      First off, I would like to thank you for your book. I bought it after I continuously obsessed over my girlfriend’s past. Wanting to know every detail was only…

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Retroactive Jealousy is a Gift (Yes, I’m Being 100% Serious…)

Note: the following is an excerpt from Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy: A Guide to Getting Over Your Partner’s Past and Finding Peace. Click here to learn more.   IF SOMEONE HAD TOLD ME  that retroactive jealousy was a “gift” while I was struggling with it, there is a good chance that I would have responded by…

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