In today’s video, I wanted to share the best quote about the “Red Pill” online men’s movement that I’ve ever heard.

Read or watch to hear the quote that could change your relationship with the red pill.

Zachary Stockill: I recorded a few videos recently on a segment of the Internet called the “Red Pill,” which basically features a lot of guys trying to figure out their sexual issues, their issues in relationships, their relationships with women, and trying to better themselves. It’s a pretty controversial little part of the internet.

And if you’ve been flirting with the Red Pill, I think this could be thought-provoking. 

There is an American political commentator who I really get a kick out of, with a lot of fascinating views. His name is Michael Malice. And I was watching a podcast, I think it was Lex Fridman’s podcast, which is excellent, by the way. Anyway, I was watching his appearance on that podcast, and he summed up his thoughts on the Red Pill in relation to politics. So this term, this phraseology the red pill, is also used in relation to politics. In other words, seeing politics through a completely different lens. And the quote about the Red Pill was: 

“You take one red pill, not the whole bottle.”

There are a lot of guys on the internet, who are in a lot of pain. And I can certainly understand what it’s like to be a man and to be in pain, and to feel disappointed and hurt by women. 

And so a lot of these guys find the Red Pill, they find contrary and alternative ways of looking at relationships, sex and women, dating, and all the rest, and many of them find some good ideas in that section of the internet. I have found some good ideas in that section of the internet ideas that used to not be that controversial ideas, like: there can be a beautiful side to masculinity. It is not all toxic. Women like strong men, women like leaders, and evolutionary psychology can offer us all kinds of insights into male-female relations. These are just a handful of good ideas…

But there are a lot of good ideas in the Red Pill that are actually helpful to men. Because, frankly, a lot of men need to man up. A lot of men need to be the men that their women need them to be. A lot of men need to shrug off and reject a lot of the nonsense social programming and cultural influences that tried to discourage them from owning their masculine impulses, that tried to discourage them from becoming better men. I agree with so much of that. 

Men taking pleasure in other people’s pain

quote about the Red Pill

But there are also a lot of bad ideas and personalities, and a certain Schadenfreude, I think, in the Red Pill. Schadenfreude is a German word. Basically, it means taking pleasure in other people’s pain. 

And there are a lot of angry, spiteful men who are lashing out at women, taking pleasure in female pain. And that part of the Red Pill, I can’t identify with at all. My point is:

Like anything else in life, take the good ideas and leave the rest. 

Because the whole idea of the Red Pill is seductive in a lot of ways. 

A lot of people really liked the idea of belonging to a “secret club,” where they have all the secret answers about politics and the Illuminati and men and women and sexual dynamics…

It’s a seductive idea to think that you’ve got the cheat codes to life, or dating or sex and relationships, or you’ve got the cheat codes to understand political reality. But it’s dangerous to take that too far. 

I have a buddy who’s very interested in conspiracy theories. I love him to death, but it can get a bit much sometimes. There is no political story that he sees that he can’t try to sneak in a conspiratorial element to it, and think this is a conspiracy, and “that’s the Illuminati and this is the great reset” and all this stuff. And of course,

I think it’s very healthy to be a critical thinker. I like to think of myself as a critical thinker, to be a skeptic. Don’t accept things at face value, but at the same time, it’s dangerous to take it too far.

quote about the Red Pill

And to paint with a brush where “everything is a conspiracy and everything is mysterious, and there’s no truth, and all of the news is lying, and all women are terrible…” You get my point; to take certain truths or certain facts that you’ve learned or certain ideas that you find helpful and blow them up into something that they’re not. To paint with too broad a brush and to ignore the nuance of everyday life, to ignore the nuance of any topic, any subject, any issue. 

You take one red pill, not the whole bottle. Because a lot of these guys find the Red Pill, and they spend so much time in these echo chambers. And I’ve been in these forums, I know what they’re like, where there is all kinds of infighting, and ad hominem, and personal attacks, and a lot of spite. Again, a lot of Schadenfreude; a lot of men taking pleasure in female suffering. 

My general take on learning from anyone is to take the best and leave the rest. I think that ideologues are the great enemies of our time. I think that ideology in general is the pathway to hell. We need to keep an open mind, and we need to be open to challenging many of our deeply held beliefs. 

No one thinker, no one school of thought, no one philosophy, no one book, no one YouTuber has all the answers. 

Sometimes people write to me, and they’re treating me a bit like a guru. It’s the Tony Robbins thing. And I am definitely not a guru. I am wrong, I’m sure, about all kinds of things that I don’t even realize that I’m wrong about right now. If you found some of my ideas helpful, that’s fantastic. That makes me feel great. If you reject other of my ideas, that’s also fine. What I’m saying here is to avoid ideologies, because I believe that ideologues are responsible for so many of the problems and polarization in our society today. 

As Bob Dylan said,

“Don’t follow leaders.” Don’t go looking for people to have all the answers, to provide you with all the inspiration and guidance for your entire life.

If you’re struggling with retroactive jealousy, and you found any of my ideas or my guidebook or my online course “Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast” or my other courses helpful, that’s fantastic. That’s great. If you found other ideas helpful from another YouTuber, another course, or another author, that’s also fantastic.

Take the best and leave the rest. Take what works for you, take what’s actually helpful and productive, and reject anything that doesn’t help.

You take one red pill. Be careful about taking the full bottle, because I’ve met some men in my travels who did take the full bottle and who are now pretty miserable as a result. 

They’re not getting the results from women that they want. They’re angry and spiteful and embittered, and they won’t let any woman get close to them because they’re so terrified about being hurt. It’s a pretty lonely, pretty dark path to go down. So I hope, if nothing else, this video has given you a little bit to think about if you’re flirting with the Red Pill.

Zachary Stockill
Zachary Stockill

Hi! I'm a Canadian author and educator whose work has been featured in BBC News, BBC Radio 4, The Huffington Post, and many other publications. I'm the founder of, the author of Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy and The Overcoming Jealousy Workbook, and the host of Humans in Love podcast.