In today’s video, I’m going to share the number one formula for relief from retroactive jealousy. It can work much quicker than you think.

Read or watch below to discover how to get long-term relief from retroactive jealousy.

Zachary Stockill: Recently I have been accused of presenting too many lofty philosophical ideas on this channel. Taking the 5000-foot view rather than getting a little more practical. One of the main reasons I’m still so interested in this topic of retroactive jealousy is because it opens up so many potential avenues for discovery and exploration and self-inquiry and all the rest. That said, I know it can be helpful sometimes to simplify and condense big ideas into easily digestible smaller formats. 

So in today’s video, I’m going to share with you the number one formula for beating retroactive jealousy. If you can nail this formula, you’re going to get relief from retroactive jealousy so much quicker than you would ever think possible. I’ve done a hell of a lot of thinking on retroactive jealousy over the past 10 years. I sort of stumbled on this mental framework recently, and I think it’s important. So I want to share with you, today, the number one formula for beating retroactive jealousy. 

The number one formula for overcoming retroactive jealousy, in my opinion, is as follows, “relentless self-discipline + new habits x time = peace; freedom for retroactive jealousy.” Let me say that one more time, and then I’ll break it down:

Relentless self-discipline plus new habits multiplied by time equals peace. 

So let me break this formula down step by step. Number one, you’ve probably heard this term before, you’ve probably heard me use this term, relentless self-discipline. You can sign up for all the one on one coaching in the world, you can take all the online courses in the world, you can hire personal trainers, you can do whatever you need to do… You can spend thousands of dollars on other people helping you solve any problem in life, whether it’s related to fitness, or personal development, or therapy, or whatever. 

But at the end of the day, there really is no substitute for relentless self-discipline, self-control. They say, “character is what you do when no one’s watching.” Self-discipline is what you do when no one’s watching.

relief from retroactive jealousy

In other words, I can lay out all of the steps, the proven step-by-step program that works. You can read literally dozens of testimonials and success stories on my website. At this point, we know what works, and we know what doesn’t. And when you try to go against what we know works, you’re going to fail and stumble again and again. 

I know it’s not a very sexy message, but ultimately, it’s on you to be accountable, to be self-disciplined. 

I know that’s not a very appealing message. And I know the internet marketers would never want to say something like that. But I don’t care because it’s the truth. 

If someone’s offering you a five-minute hack to beat retroactive jealousy, they’re full of nonsense. It’s not effective. You need to be self-disciplined to break some of your old habits in order for progress to take place, in order to achieve peace of mind. So that’s the first part of the formula, relentless self-discipline. 

The second part of the formula is new habits. Now I’ve given you all kinds of new habits, hundreds on this YouTube channel, in my guidebook Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy, in my guided meditations, in my two online courses, Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast and the Overcoming Jealousy Blueprint… You get the idea. 

I offer up all kinds of new habits, new mental habits, new reframing techniques, new perspectives to think about. New ways you can rewire your brain. Researchers have proven that the brain is relatively plastic. And by that, I mean:

You have the power to rewire things and shape your brain in new ways. 

It simply takes, again, relentless self-discipline. But there are all kinds of new habits that you can incorporate into your life that are going to make overcoming retroactive jealousy so much easier. And if you get good at incorporating all of these new habits in your life, you’re going to make unbelievable progress. 

But the new habits won’t help you again without the first part of this formula, relentless self-discipline. It’s when you put those two things together–relentless self-discipline, plus new habits–that you’re going to start making real progress.

The final variable in this formula is time; relentless self-discipline, plus new habits, multiplied by time. 

We’re all different. We all come from different backgrounds. We’ve all got different stories.

I get questions all the time like “Zach, how long does it take to overcome retroactive jealousy?” The answer is it’s slightly different for everyone. But I’ve seen some true miracles as little as in two weeks. I’m serious. 

Now, this isn’t all people. Some people need a bit more time. And it’s going to take a bit of time to start seeing the true rewards of this program of relentless self-discipline and new habits. 

When you put all of those things together, that’s where you find peace of mind. 

relief from retroactive jealousy

And It’s a complicated thing to break down because relief from retroactive jealousy involves taking many steps. It involves incorporating a lot of new perspectives. It involves some self-discipline, involves actively taking the steps to actively do what we know works. But when you combine all of these things together, that’s where you find peace of mind. 

Another reason why I like this formula idea is because it can be helpful, sometimes, to have something really simple in your back pocket. Something relatively simple and straightforward, that you can use as the North Star on your journey, on your path that you’re walking towards overcoming retroactive jealousy. 

So think about this the next time you’re feeling hopeless. The next time you’re struggling or the next time you’re wondering what to do. If you can just keep this formula in mind, you’re going to make a lot of progress, a lot quicker than you ever thought was possible.

Zachary Stockill
Zachary Stockill

Hi! I'm a Canadian author and educator whose work has been featured in BBC News, BBC Radio 4, The Huffington Post, and many other publications. I'm the founder of, the author of Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy and The Overcoming Jealousy Workbook, and the host of Humans in Love podcast.