In case you hadn’t noticed, there aren’t a whole lot of retroactive jealousy books out there…
This is a problem, because the more retroactive jealousy books there are, the more people will get the help they need.
(And I say this as an author with a book about retroactive jealousy.)
When I was suffering from retroactive jealousy, I checked out a lot of books that I hoped might provide me with some relief.
Some were very good, others were just OK, and many others weren’t helpful at all.
It wasn’t until I realized that I had to stop intellectualizing my condition that I began to get over it. However, that isn’t to say that there aren’t some important books that helped me along the way, and in a certain sense, sped up my recovery.
I’ve included those retroactive jealousy books below, along with a couple of others that other former sufferers of retroactive jealousy recommend.
So, without any further ado, and in my entirely-biased opinion, here are the top-5 retroactive jealousy books that every sufferer should put on their reading list:
NOTE: The links to these retroactive jealousy books contain Amazon affiliate links. If you make a purchase after clicking a link, I will receive a tiny commission (as in, 30 or 40 cents). This commission comes at no charge to you.
1.) The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
Tolle’s modern-day classic has sold about a zillion copies worldwide, and not without reason: there is no more accessible, engaging, and clearly-written introduction to “mindfulness,” or rather, the fine art of living in the present, rather than thoughts of the past or future.
As I outline in my video course, mindfulness, and meditation was a real game-changer for me when it came to overcoming retroactive jealousy. And while meditation alone won’t “cure” your retroactive jealousy, it’s a very important part of the solution.
If you’re interested in learning more about mindfulness, meditation, and how to live in the present, I strongly recommend you check out The Power of Now.
2.) The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts
In the 1950’s and 60’s, Alan Watts gained fame as the most effective Western interpreter of Zen Buddhism.
He wrote The Wisdom of Insecurity in an effort to make various Eastern principles on life, presence, and the illusion of ego more clear to the Western reader, and fifty years after its initial publication, it continues to inspire people all over the world to live a more peaceful life.
This was a crucial, eye-opening read for me as I was overcoming retroactive jealousy, and other ex-sufferers of RJ have told me that it was an equally important, liberating read for them. Many Amazon reviewers call the book “life-changing,” and I won’t disagree.
3.) Brain Lock by Jeffrey Schwartz
I didn’t read this while I was still suffering from RJ, but several readers have told me that they found this book very helpful for breaking free from the cycle of obsessive thinking. Schwartz is an expert on obsessive-compulsive disorder, and his techniques for overcoming OCD are now taught in universities throughout the world.
Highly recommended if you have a brain stuck on “loop.”
4.) Feeling Good by David Burns
Quite simply, the best book on overcoming depression, building self-esteem, and “re-training” your brain to have a more positive outlook on life yet published. Nothing else compares.
If you’re mired in RJ-related depression, you’d be wise to pick up Feeling Good. If there’s one knock against this book, it’s the length–at 736 pages, it may take you some time to get through, but it’s worthwhile, I promise you.
5.) Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy by Zachary Stockill
You probably knew this one was coming…
However, leaving aside the fact that I’m this book’s author, I’ve been told by hundreds of readers over the past several years that there is no better book out there for sufferers of retroactive jealousy.
I’ve received numerous e-mails, reviews, even phone calls from satisfied readers who express their gratitude for writing this book, and if you’re suffering from retroactive jealousy, I feel confident telling you that I think you’ll find it helpful.
Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
One of the best books on long-term relationships, period. Perel is a longtime couples counsellor and therapist, and Mating in Captivity focuses on maintaining passion in a long-term relationship. Great read.
The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
The book that started me on my self-improvement journey about seven years ago, and still one of the most important books I’ve ever read. While it won’t appeal to every man (Deida can be very “woo-woo” at times), this book is a great choice for men who want to grow into better lovers, own their masculinity, and learn to express it in healthy ways with their partner and in the world at large.
I lugged around a dog-eared copy of this book with me everywhere I traveled for many years.
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
One of the best self-help books in print, written in clear, engaging prose, and chock-full of the wisdom you need to grow into a happier, stronger, more successful person. A very important read for me.
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie
Reading Dale Carnegie is like spending an afternoon with the friendliest, most helpful grandfather in the world, passing down time-tested knowledge and hard-won life lessons about dealing with stress, and being a more peaceful person. A wonderful book.
The Overcoming Jealousy Workbook by Zachary Stockill
Alright, you got me. Another self-serving addition to this list…
The Overcoming Jealousy Workbook features eleven weeks of writing prompts and journaling exercises for confronting and overcoming jealousy in relationships.
Drawing insights from cognitive behavioral therapy and cutting-edge psychological research, as well as ancient Buddhist and Stoic philosophy, this workbook is designed for any jealousy sufferer who wants to quickly get a handle on their problem, and emerge from the hell of jealousy and possessiveness.
Over many years, after thousands of emails, conversations, and coaching calls with jealousy sufferers, I designed The Overcoming Jealousy Workbook to be effective for ANY modern jealousy sufferer–whether you are jealous of other people in your partner’s present, or past; whether your jealousy is mild, or severe; whether you know your jealousy is irrational, or you’re not sure, you will find liberation through this workbook-as long as you are committed to putting in the work.