Not long ago, on the Happy Hour Podcast, a courageous retroactive jealousy sufferer decided to share his retroactive jealousy story.
The man who shared his retroactive jealousy story is Alfie, a former student of mine from “Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast,” my online course for retroactive jealousy sufferers.
On the podcast, he felt moved to open up and share his retroactive jealousy story with the world.
I can tell you from experience—sharing your retroactive jealousy story publicly can be tough.
Admitting that you struggle with such a bizarre, relatively uncommon condition can be embarrassing, even shameful.
Although it might be easy for me now, it wasn’t six years ago when I decided to “come out” and put my real name and face on the cover of Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy (and this blog).
The public reception has been almost universally positive and supportive, however, so I was really worrying for nothing.
But still—when I first started attaching my real name and face to this issue, it wasn’t easy.
Which is why I have so much respect for anyone who decides to talk about retroactive jealousy in a public forum.
(Shout out to all of the students from my course who record video testimonials with me.)
Alfie went through “Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast” years ago, and says at the time it “cured” him.
In his own words:
Finding [the course] was an insane relief because I’d been suffering from [retroactive jealousy] for like 4, 5 years at that point, without knowing what it was…
[The course] cured me. Which is just mad. In like, two weeks…
The mental movies stopped. And I would get triggers… but then [the course] gives you techniques to calm down.
Zachary Stockill’s course is amazing… If anyone out there is suffering from this, it is amazing.
Watch Alfie share his story below:
If you watch the full podcast, you’ll learn that Alfie is currently experiencing a retroactive jealousy “relapse” which, unfortunately, is a reality for some retroactive jealousy sufferers.
The good news is I truly believe that the way out of retroactive jealousy is pretty much the same for everyone.
And the same techniques and exercises which we found helpful before, can help us in the present and future as well.
Which is important to note:
When it comes to retroactive jealousy, anyone trying to sell you a “miracle cure,” or “overnight fix” is lying to you.
As my chat with Zachary below demonstrates, you can absolutely make major progress in as little as a week or two, however, overcoming retroactive jealousy takes effort, persistence, and patience (a sense of humor also helps).
But the rewards of this effort are so, so worth it.
Hundreds of retroactive jealousy success stories from my email inbox have proved that to me, again and again.
While many who put in the work are lucky enough to beat retroactive jealousy once, and never struggle with it again, this isn’t true for every success story.
But this doesn’t mean anyone experiencing a retroactive jealousy “relapse” is somehow a failure.
I experienced bumps in the road as I worked to overcome retroactive jealousy, and you probably will, too.
But that doesn’t make us failures.
To my mind, a “failure” would be refusing to step up, put in the work, and make a renewed commitment. Failure is inertia. Failure is succumbing to a victim mentality. Failure is laziness.
And Alfie is certainly not acting like a victim by sharing his retroactive jealousy in a public forum.
So kudos to Alfie for letting other sufferers know that they are not alone.
Indeed, we are not alone.
Over 1000 of us, from every corner of the planet, have stepped up, committed to the work, and emerged from retroactive jealousy as stronger people.