In today’s video, I share the number one secret about retroactive jealousy, informed by almost a decade of working on this peculiar issue.

Read on or watch below to discover the secret about retroactive jealousy.

Zachary Stockill: I hope you will forgive the clickbait title of this video. But it’s not just clickbait. I’m telling you the truth. In today’s video, I’m going to share the number one secret about retroactive jealousy that I don’t see anyone else talking about. 

If you’re struggling with retroactive jealousy and looking at YouTube comments if you’re participating in sketchy open Facebook groups and talking to people about this issue, if you’re looking around the internet on message boards, and all the rest, I think there’s serious potential that it will completely skew your perspective on this issue. And here’s why. And I think this is the number one secret about retroactive jealousy that no one else talks about…

Most people who actually put in the work to beat this move on with their lives; they don’t post comments on YouTube. They don’t participate in open Facebook groups. They’re not making YouTube videos like me and talking about their journey with retroactive jealousy, because most people are embarrassed by retroactive jealousy. 

If you’re a retroactive jealousy sufferer, and you’re looking for information about retroactive jealousy on the internet, if you’re participating in these groups and doing all that stuff… It has the potential to completely skew your perspective on this issue.

Because all you’re hearing from are people who are either taking no action and complaining about retroactive jealousy

The #1 SECRET About Retroactive Jealousy

People who are still struggling, people who are going through their own path, their own journey towards healing. But the point is, you’re not going to hear from a lot of people who have actually put in the work and put this issue behind them, simply because most of those people move on with their lives. For obvious reasons, such as: retroactive jealousy becomes like a bad dream or a nightmare they just want to forget about. They want to move on. Nothing wrong with that. 

Most people don’t have the time to be participating and making YouTube videos, participate in open Facebook groups, and all the rest. Retroactive jealousy is embarrassing for a lot of people. They’re not going to write books and do everything that I’ve done because they’re embarrassed. They don’t want anyone to know that they once had this problem. 

The point is: don’t lose hope. If all you’re seeing is YouTube comments or comments around the internet, message boards, sketchy open Facebook groups… don’t lose hope if that’s the only information you’re taking in. Because I’m in a really fortunate position in that I’ve got all kinds of case studies and testimonials and hundreds of success stories on my website, you can go look at them right now. The point is, regardless of whether you choose to engage with my work, invest in my work, or anything else, the point is:

Don’t lose hope. People move on from this issue all the time. 

And of course, my story: I moved on from this many years ago, it hasn’t been an issue for me for a very long time. But if you don’t believe me, that’s fine. You can watch all kinds of videos, you can read email testimonials, I post all this stuff on this website with screenshots.

If you’re only looking at random YouTube comments, or your ppen message boards, open Facebook groups, this kind of thing… You can lose perspective, you can feel like “well, no one beats retroactive jealousy, no one really works their way through this.” I promise you, that’s a lie. And I got all kinds of evidence to back that up.

So don’t lose hope. Because there are all kinds of people like me that work their way through this issue, who simply don’t talk about it.

It was once a part of their life. Now it’s over. Now they’re moving on. 

The #1 SECRET About Retroactive Jealousy

They’re not crazy, like me, and making videos online and being on BBC News and doing all the things that I’ve done. They want to move on with their life, they don’t want to keep reliving it, they don’t want to keep talking about it. They don’t want to post comments and spend time doing that. Because It was once a part of their life. Now it’s over. Now they’re moving on. 

However, I will take a moment to plug my own private Facebook group. So since 2014, I’ve had a private Facebook group on Facebook, obviously, it’s a secret group, you’re not going to find it if you Google my name or anything like that. It’s only for past or current students in my flagship online course, Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast. And some of my coaching clients. It’s a closed group because we don’t want it to be too big. 

And people come to the group sometimes when they join my course, Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast, and then they leave later. But there are many people who stick around. There are some retroactive jealousy survivors in that group who have been in the group for years and years and years. They will tell you what I’m telling you, which is: it is absolutely possible to beat retroactive jealousy, move on with your life. If you’d like to do join us, you can do so right now. Join my secret Facebook group and my flagship online course, Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast.

But if you’re not interested in that, that’s totally fine. I just wanted to emphasize this point that 

It’s too easy to lose perspective on this issue when you’re in these kinds of “victim mentality echo chambers.”

Unfortunately, YouTube and Facebook can often be like this. 

It’s absolutely possible to beat retroactive jealousy, there are thousands of us around the world. I’m not the only one. And one day you can join us. It’s really up to you.

Zachary Stockill
Zachary Stockill

Hi! I'm a Canadian author and educator whose work has been featured in BBC News, BBC Radio 4, The Huffington Post, and many other publications. I'm the founder of, the author of Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy and The Overcoming Jealousy Workbook, and the host of Humans in Love podcast.