In today’s video, I’m going to talk about how to get started getting momentum when it comes to any kind of personal development project, and how to deal with resistance that you might have along the way.

So, how to stay motivated when beating jealousy?

Zachary Stockill: I have received some YouTube comments recently, and some emails from people, and the basic gist of the email or the comment go something like, “I’m filled with anger about my partner’s past and that’s preventing me from taking action. I just can’t force myself to do any of these things that you talk about.”

There will always be a certain percentage of people who are not going to take action. Many of the people watching this video right now are not going to take any action based on anything I say ever.

They could subscribe to my channel, watch everything I do. They could sign up to my course, read my guidebook, sign up for one on one coaching with me, but they’re not going to take action.

There’s going to be a certain proportion of anyone’s audience that is just not going to take action. There’s nothing you can do to help those people.

staying motivated beating jealousy

I’m pertaining to people who want to get started, but they’re encountering some kind of mental roadblock, preventing them from taking action.

Basically, they’re looking for inspiration and meditation. And here’s the thing, you won’t always find inspiration. You won’t always feel motivated. You won’t always hear a certain word or have a certain conversation that will push you to do what you need to do. How to stay motivated when beating jealousy?

For anyone watching this who’s doing anything creative, whether it’s writing or making videos, or making music, you can interpret the word creative liberally.

If you like building things like me, whether it’s a website or anything else, I’d strongly encourage you to read a book called, The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. The author talks about his war on himself, making art trying to become a novelist. Trying to cultivate the will discipline, to sit down and do the work that he knows he needs to do. And the great lesson one of the many great takeaways from this book is that “Action creates its own momentum”.

Half of the struggle involved in writing a book is cultivating the self-discipline, to plant behind in a seat at a desk, and actually start typing words. They don’t have to be great words. They don’t even have to be good words, they could be absolutely terrible words. And, they could be illogical sentences and uninspired prose.

But the fact is, that action will eventually lead to positive momentum. And that’s where you find the gold.

The key is, starting when I sat down today to record these videos, I did not feel like it at all. I’ve got a lot of work that I should be doing. Whether it’s responding to coaching client emails or doing research for an upcoming blog. There’s a lot of things that are on my plate. Right now, there’s a lot on my to-do list. But this is something that is important to me that I know I need to do.

And the thing is recording videos like this takes a certain kind of energy that I don’t always have in large supply.

Staying motivated when beating jealousy is important.

As I mentioned in past videos, I’m an introvert. And doing this does not always come entirely naturally to me. But the fact is, I need to get this done. I sat down, I planted a candle in front of me, and I’m on. I put the microphone on, I’m ready. And once I got going, all of a sudden, I feel like I could go for another hour or two.

I feel like I’ve created this action and the momentum that I have. Whatever momentum I have right now is built on taking that initial action, even when I didn’t feel like doing it.

Stop waiting for motivation. Stop waiting for inspiration and wasting endless hours, scouring the internet, looking for someone else to say you can do it, and chase your dreams.

If you want real motivation, real inspiration, create a track record of success of the action and then reflect on that track record of success or action.

staying motivated beating jealousy

If you can stay disciplined with yourself, if you can cultivate a sense of self-motivation, over time, you’ll cultivate your own track. Record your own history that you can look back on and reflect on of taking action when you didn’t feel like it.

You can look back on that track record, reflect on all the fruits of your labor offered. You can look back on all the benefits that taking that action brought to your life. And it’ll be much easier to give yourself motivation and inspiration.

I love being motivated and feeling inspired. I watch all kinds of documentaries, I read books and I listen to podcasts constantly filled with people who are much more successful than me. People who have taken much greater risks than I have and people who have accomplished a lot more in life than I have.

But at the end of the day, I know that taking that action is on me. I know that taking that first action, even when I don’t feel like it is eventually going to create momentum of its own. That’s what I’m banking on.

And frankly, I think that if you’re trying to accomplish any goal in life, whether it’s related to overcoming retroactive jealousy, overcoming obsessive jealousy, anything related to personal development, business, relationship, whatever it is, just start taking action when you don’t feel like it.

And over time, this sense of discipline and the sense of internal motivation will grow stronger and stronger, and you’ll accomplish whatever goal you’re chasing much quicker.

Zachary Stockill
Zachary Stockill

Hi! I'm a Canadian author and educator whose work has been featured in BBC News, BBC Radio 4, The Huffington Post, and many other publications. I'm the founder of, the author of Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy and The Overcoming Jealousy Workbook, and the host of Humans in Love podcast.