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In today’s video, I will share my top-3 reasons why retroactive jealousy sufferers should stop watching porn.
Read or watch below to discover why you should stop watching porn if you’re a retroactive jealousy sufferer.
Zachary Stockill: It is never easy to change a habit. It takes time, it takes effort. It takes dedication. It can be particularly difficult to break a long-standing habit. And unfortunately, one of the most common habits among young men and many older men as well is watching video pornography.
You’ve heard me talk about pornography on this channel before, I’m sure if you’ve been watching my videos for a while. And I’m not being moralistic here. I don’t necessarily think it’s wrong to watch video pornography, I’m not going to get into those arguments. What I want to do today is compel male retroactive jealousy sufferers to stop watching porn. Not for any moralistic reason, but because it’s actually making overcoming retroactive jealousy much more difficult.
So why am I making this video? Why am I talking to you today? Because most young men nowadays learn about sex and sexuality through watching pornography. This often represents their earliest exposure to naked women; to sex and sexuality. I’m in my mid-30s now, and I just barely missed the generation with teenage access to high-speed internet and smartphones. That wasn’t a part of my life, thank goodness.
With many guys, growing up with video pornography, hardcore porn on their phones is available 24/7. It does a lot of damage to their sex lives.
I think it can do a lot of damage to their own conceptions of what constitutes good sex, and what women want.
And I think this is a serious problem, in particular, for retroactive jealousy sufferers.
And I should also note that I’m addressing this video to men because, let’s be honest, of course, I know many women watch pornography, nothing wrong with that. But…
The overwhelming majority of pornography is designed and imagined, distributed and consumed, by men for men.
It is what it is, right? It’s mostly guys watching porn. And just for the last time, this isn’t a moralistic argument. I’m a libertarian. I believe in individual freedom, personal liberty, and all that good stuff. I’m not trying to say you can never watch porn ever.
But I think for men who are struggling with retroactive jealousy, it’s a serious mistake.
And here is the first and biggest reason why I think male retroactive jealousy sufferers should stop watching porn: it’s filled, obviously, with graphic sexual imagery. Now, one of the primary symptoms of retroactive jealousy OCD is graphic sexual images; in particular, what I call “mental movies” where you’re having all these crazy movies in your head with all kinds of graphic sexual details concerning your girlfriend’s past or wife’s past sex life that you can’t seem to forget about. You probably know what I’m talking about if you’re a male, retroactive jealousy sufferer, or sometimes if you’re a female retroactive jealousy sufferer.
Unfortunately, one of the main symptoms of this condition is what I call “mental movies.”
So of course, it’s probably not a very good idea to be consuming more graphic sexual imagery; to be watching graphic sexual acts on your smartphone, or on your laptop, to be exposing your brain to more graphic, often violent sexual imagery.
Obviously, this can help fuel mental movies. This can help fuel the anxiety, This can sometimes inspire new mental movies. If you’re watching pornography before bed at night, as many men do, consuming violent sexual graphic imagery right before you go to bed is obviously going to provide a lot of fuel for your subconscious. It might fuel graphic, unpleasant dreams about your girlfriend with her ex, or whatever.
The point is, you need less of that stuff, not more. And obviously, it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to realize that if you’re struggling with graphic sexual imagery, intrusive thoughts, mental movies, that kind of thing. In my view, this is the most obvious reason why any male retroactive jealousy sufferers should stop watching porn. If mental movies and intrusive thoughts are a big problem for you, then check out my online course “Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast” to resolve this as quickly as possible.
The second reason I think every male retroactive jealousy sufferer should limit his consumption of video pornography is because:
Your sex life will improve. Your desire for your girlfriend or wife will absolutely go up. Your ability to be in the moment and be spontaneous during sex will improve.
When you’re relying on your own instincts, rather than being inspired by graphic, unrealistic, often degrading, and violent sex that you’re watching on a screen.
Not a moralistic argument, again. But I think it’s pretty fair to say again that 99% of porn is distributed and consumed by men for men, and 99% of video pornography does not represent what women actually want in bed. So you’re going to be a much better lover if you’re not watching video pornography all the time. If instead, you’re getting in touch with your own sexuality, and instincts. Maybe you’re reading books about sex or going to workshops, or whatever.
There are better ways to learn about sex. This is the understatement of the millennium. There are much better ways to learn about sex and sexuality than watching video pornography.
The final reason I think every retroactive jealousy sufferer, just about every guy, should stop watching video pornography is:
You will be more attractive to women. You will be more attractive to your girlfriend or wife.
You’ll be more attractive in the world in general. I don’t have any scientific proof for this. I don’t have any research. This is Zach’s opinion, but it’s backed up by a lot of anecdotal evidence from my male friends.
I’ve noticed this in my own life when I’ve stopped watching video pornography. You just feel more confident. I mean, it’s not a very, manly sexy thing to do to be pleasuring yourself behind a video screen. Wouldn’t you rather be pleasuring your wife or your girlfriend, or out meeting new women if you’re single? The point is, that there are better vehicles for you to express your sexuality than watching video pornography.
And women can pick up on the fact that you’re not somebody who’s wasting all of his sexual energy alone by himself in a darkened room. And of course, I’m not trying to mock I’m not trying to judge men with a porn habit. I get it.
I’m a guy. We’re all guys. We’ve all been there. We’ve all done that.
But the point is, I can tell you from my own experience, I can tell you from the experience of many coaching clients of mine over the years, and so many of my guy friends: you’ll be more attractive to women, you’ll have better interactions with women, you’ll be sexier to women if you’re not wasting all of your sexual energy.
Your sex life will improve, your interactions with women will improve, and in all likelihood, your retroactive jealousy will improve if you stop, or at the very least limit your consumption of video pornography.
