The BIGGEST Dating Secret For Men (Controversial) [VIDEO]

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In today’s video, I’m going to talk about what I see as the biggest dating secret for men.

Read or watch below to discover the biggest dating secret for men.

 Zachary Stockill: I believe there’s an essential secret that every man dating in the 21st century should know to enhance his dating life and interactions with the opposite sex. In today’s video, I’ll share one of the biggest dating secrets for men in our modern era.

I’m Zachary Stockill, and since 2013, I’ve dedicated myself to helping men and women worldwide overcome retroactive jealousy, paving the way for more joyful, healthier, and improved long-term relationships.

For additional details about my work or to collaborate with me one-on-one, please check out this link.

This morning, as I often do on Sundays, I found myself watching my beloved Toronto Maple Leafs play hockey.

Currently, I’m in Indonesia, so my Sunday morning aligns with Saturday night back in Toronto, which explains why I catch the games at this time.

During a commercial break, which I usually skip, I ended up watching anyway.

The first commercial featured a middle-aged man selling mufflers, and at one point, he’s humorously hit in the head with a volleyball—that’s the punchline.

The following ad showed a grown man lounging on the couch, clad in a bright orange poncho, binge-eating, and smeared with chicken wing grease.

The joke of the commercial seems to be the man wiping his hands on his oversized poncho, getting it all dirty with chicken grease, which is meant to be humorous.

In the next ad I saw, two grown men in their late 20s in the back of an SUV, acting like little boys, slapping and play-fighting with each other.

Then, their mother, who’s in her fifties, turns from the front seat and chides them with a “Grow up, boys. Do I need to separate you two?” The intended humor, I suppose, is in these men acting like little boys.

Are you noticing a pattern? I certainly did after watching these commercials.

It’s a trend that’s become quite apparent in Western popular culture, spanning commercials, television, and various forms of media, including print, and extending to movies and TV shows.

The recurring theme is the infantilization of men, portraying them as little boys and the perpetual butt of the joke.

We see constant depictions of men as overgrown, dorky adolescents, even those in their 40s, 50s, and 60s.

These men are shown not taking care of themselves physically, acting childishly, and always ending up as the punchline.

If you tune into Western television, you’ll spot this trend where men are often the butt of the joke—the clueless dad, the bumbling brother, or the one who’s always at fault for some reason.

You get the idea. It’s a pattern that repeats itself constantly. Now, I won’t delve into why this has become such a prevalent theme in pop culture.

Some of you might ask, “What’s the big deal, Zach?”

I believe cultural portrayals propagate and reinforce a harmful myth. They suggest that strong masculinity is negative and that strong men are relics of the past.

The prevailing message seems to be that we no longer need strong or mature men; men can remain boys, and women supposedly prefer a man who isn’t physically dominant.

It suggests that it’s acceptable to reach 50, lounge on the couch with a beer, and let your belly grow to the point where you can’t see your own feet when you’re naked.

You see the pattern: the ongoing infantilization of men, portraying them as boys, and the stark absence of strong, authoritative male figures in popular media.

All this perpetuates the myth that women don’t desire a ‘real’ man.

Now, we’re venturing into some seriously contentious territory…

This topic is controversial and might upset some, but I’m not concerned because it’s the reality. It’s something I’ve been pondering for a while.

You might wonder, “Zach, what defines a real man?” Clearly, there will be varied responses to that question, and I believe that diversity of opinion is beneficial.

I believe we should all have our own understanding of what masculinity means and what being a real man entails, and that’s perfectly fine.

By the way, I’m not suggesting that real men can’t laugh at themselves. I do it all the time, and it’s healthy. You shouldn’t take yourself too seriously, yet it’s important to maintain a certain level of self-respect.

I think a ‘real man,’ so to speak, finds the balance between self-respect and not taking himself too seriously.

When I consider what a real man is, virtues like strength—both physical and otherwise—come to mind, as well as competence, or knowing what to do in various situations.

Confidence is about believing in yourself, standing tall, making eye contact, and offering a firm handshake—beyond just physical presence.

It’s about having faith in your abilities and knowing what to do. Strength, competence, and confidence are the three qualities that come to mind for me when I think about what constitutes a real man.

So why are these strong male figures so scarce in popular media? I believe it’s because it fuels the myth of men’s infantilization and supports the false notion that women don’t want a real man.

With that said, here’s the biggest dating secret for men: Women, even in the 21st century, still desire real men.

And here’s another secret: the best women, often referred to as “high-quality women,” are looking for high-quality men.

They want men who are strong, competent, and confident, not those who act and present themselves like boys.

The men who understand this are the ones attracting all the high-quality women.

I wanted to address this issue because many men express their frustration about women in comments on my channel.

They question where all the “real women” are and feel they don’t stand a chance due to lacking skills or being awkward and shy.

I understand all of these concerns.

But guys, I’m telling you: it doesn’t take much to stand out in these strange times we live in, where the narrative is that men and women are the same, that there’s no real distinction between sex and gender, and we’re all just an amorphous blob.

Men and women differ; different things attract us. Women appreciate men who embrace their masculinity and understand that while the sexes are equal, they are distinct.

However, if you spend time watching television, movies, and commercials like I did this morning, you might not get that impression.

I’m opening up a huge can of worms here, and there’s much more to discuss, which I plan to do in future videos.

But for now, I just needed to vent and offer some food for thought.

Be mindful when consuming media, whether it’s ads, YouTube, television, or anything else.

Notice how often the media depict men as dopes, dorks, and idiots or depicts them like little boys.

Be cautious that the media doesn’t steer you in the wrong direction or subconsciously affect how you view yourself and your masculinity. Women still value real men.

If you’re interested in delving deeper into this topic, I plan to explore it much more thoroughly in the coming weeks and months, both on this channel and elsewhere.

If you’d like more information about my work, or you’d like to work with me one on one, please visit this page.

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