In this video, I spoke with Steve, a recent graduate of my online course, “Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast.”
Read on or watch below to listen to another Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast, Zachary Stockill course review:
Zachary: So first off, Steve, I just wanted to thank you for doing this. I really appreciate it.
Steve: No problem. I’m happy to be here.
Zachary: Could you tell me a little bit about just generally where you were at with retroactive jealousy before finding my course?
Steve: Yeah, before finding your course, my retroactive jealousy…
It came on sudden, very sudden, and it came on very innocently. My wife and I were just talking about the past, just innocently, nothing to it.
And that’s when I started, kind of going down this path, where I became kind of a personal investigator who needed to know as much information as I could. We’ve been married for almost twelve and a half years. And I’ve never considered myself a jealous person. I’ve never gone through something like this.
Initially, I did like what everyone does, so I started Googling. And I started going through different forums, different chat forums, and things of that nature. But I found your webpage right away, you were one of the first people I saw. And that was kind of what I was like, “Okay, this is what it is.” At least there was some relief as I had a name to associate with it.
Now I need to try to find a way to deal with it. And I didn’t, I didn’t follow the process properly. After I went through your article and I did about everything you shouldn’t do. I continued to be investigating, I continued to ask questions. And my wife, being the good wife that she was, was answering them for me.
But she could tell it was getting worse. So then that became everything she told me I dissected, and I spun it into something worse than it really was. And it just kept, I kept going through that cycle. It took quite a while to realize that, as you talk about in the course:
“She’s not going to help me fix this. There’s nothing she can tell me that’s going to eliminate this from me.”
“I have to do this on my own,” and it took a long time to get to that point.
But I was losing sleep. The first thing I did when I woke up was think about it, the last thing I did when I went to sleep was thought about it, I’d wake up at odd hours thinking about it. And I had the mental movies going on the whole time. It was extremely awful to go through. I did what a lot of people did, I went and looked at everything from people going through the same interview with you, I wanted to see what other people had to say. And kind of hear success stories and have some kind of hope that this is something that can be beaten, and it can be dealt with.
I got to that point where I know I needed to make some changes because our lives at home were getting pretty bad; the “temperature” of the house was just not that good. And it evolved into work-related where there were days, I just took a day off of work because I was so down. And I had no one to talk to, no outlets, no one to ask about this. In a lot of ways, it was embarrassing to me that this was something like something as silly as what I was upset about was absolutely wrecking my life.
It went from an innocent conversation, to “I’m not sure if our relationship is going to continue.”
That’s ultimately why I signed up for the course.
Every day, it got a little bit better and a little bit better, to the point where I what I was obsessing about, I didn’t really worry about it as much. And as talked you talked about it a lot in the course, the personal development becoming a priority. Having the Facebook group was also helpful. Just seeing other people that were battling it to kind of in the trenches with me in a weird way that it was like, Okay, there’s other people that are going through the same thing, and it was refreshing to kind of see it.
Zachary: You know, the Facebook group is great. I’m so glad that I created it now. It’s been going on for I think eight years now. It’s terrific.
So if you had to say, how would you compare your feelings now to before you found my course?
Steve: Okay, now, I mean, obviously it’s night and day. I mean, my attitude towards everything is changed…
I’m a lot more positive, and I was in a dark place when I first started.
I was pretty depressed, pretty down. And you know, fast-forwarding that to two and a half months since I started [the course], I mean… like I said, we just got done with vacation as a family and honestly, my life has kind of gone back to normal. There are a few days here and there where it’s a little tougher for me, But it’s rare. It’s extremely rare, versus It was everything I thought about. And I obsessed about it for hours and hours into the day, and I lost sleepover. So it’s to the point where I sleep normally. I know you talked about it a little bit in the course...
And I remember thinking, this is silly. But on the whole: this was somewhat of a blessing, in a weird way.
My relationship with my wife has been the best it’s ever been. And we’ve kind of fallen back in love with each other in a strange way. Because we’ve been together for quite a while. And it’s fun that going through this was was was very difficult and very tough on both of us. After we got kind of through the worst of it. And came out on the other side. I think we actually appreciate each other more. And we started focusing more on each other versus the kids being the 100% priority.
Honestly, it’s been amazing. Just the last probably month, month and a half have been some of the best times we’ve ever had. So it’s strange that it was so miserable to be such a strange blessing.
But it’s never been better, if I’m honest with you.
So hopefully somebody hears this and is like “Okay,” feels a little bit better, because I definitely got there, and I was in as dark a place as you can get with this.
Zachary: Yeah, you’re choking me up, Steve. That’s beautiful. Really, that’s, that’s so great to hear. I absolutely love hearing things like that. It makes it all worthwhile, truly. So, thanks for sharing.
And I just want to hammer this point home: you only started the course between two, and two and a half months ago. Not that long. And we’re talking about a transformation in what, eight or 10 weeks, something like that.
Steve: The tools you gave me helped. And I think just having that personal desire, to better my life and just better my relationship. You know, honestly, life is back to normal and actually even better, to be honest.
Zachary: It’s just so great to hear that Steve, really you’re making my whole day. And my last question for you:
Someone’s reading this right now who’s in a really tough spot with retroactive jealousy. What do you tell that person?
What’s your message for someone who’s reading this right now or who’s listening to you speak and who’s maybe on the fence about tackling this problem for good, and investing in my course?
Steve: So I was right there with you not too long ago. As soon as I kind of realized that… I watched a lot of the success stories. And, I knew there was some hope, it gave me enough confidence that there is a way out of this. That kind of led me to the course and
I wish I would have started sooner.
I thought, “Okay, I can beat this on my own, and I can get through this…”
It took some time. I think I was a little stubborn and was like, “Ok, this isn’t just going away, this isn’t something I can just get rid of on my own.” And that time lag made things worse. Because then I kept going through that same cycle.
To let everyone know: there’s a ton of hope.
I hope while watching this you’re excited, thinking “Okay, I can get through this too. This guy seems like a pretty normal dude just like anybody else that had a pretty rough go with this, and I can be smiling and happy and realizing that yeah, things get a lot better.”
For anyone watching this that’s not sure, on the fence… If you are in that position I was in where you’re losing sleep, and you’re thinking about this constantly, and it’s upsetting you, and you’re getting upset with your partner, and you’re getting into arguments, anything of that nature: make the choice to be better. Going through the course helped me get to where I’m at now.
So I thank you for that because you’re the face of this, and somebody with a smile, and has been through it and knows what to do, what process to take.
You’ve helped so many people like me get to where I’m at now, where my life is back to normal. I didn’t lose my marriage, my family, my house, or any of those things. I did what I had to do, and I got here. So I thank you for that.