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In today’s video, I had a conversation with Gethen, a retroactive jealousy survivor from Wales, and a recent graduate of my course “Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast,” in today’s Zachary Stockill testimonial.
Read or watch below to hear Gethen’s Zachary Stockill testimonial, his story of overcoming retroactive jealousy, and how it changed his life.
Zachary: First off, can you just tell me a little bit about your experience of retroactive jealousy and where you were at with retroactive jealousy before investing in my course?
Gethen: My first experience was about 20 years ago, I think it was something I found out in the current relationship. And to be fair, initially, the actual problems that caused that didn’t recognize it at all, probably dealt with it in the wrong way, I just let it go for many, many years. But I think in the later years, I realized that it was still a problem.
And I actually got some help for it from a counselor, if you like, some mental health help. But the thing is, you don’t really solve it as such, you know, you can find things out about yourself, but you don’t really fix it. And I found a video of, I think it was almost like a radio show about retroactive jealousy, which I’d never heard of before. The person in the video mentioned the course by yourself. And so I pursued that, and I thought, I’ll have a look at it. And then it just went from there, really, you know, just to try and see if it would work.
Zachary: And tell me about how retroactive jealousy would generally manifest for you. I mean, did you get the intrusive thoughts, the curiosity, the mental movies? What was your experience, like?
Gethen: Yeah, the mental movies playing on and on and on, destroyed me to be quite honest,
I just couldn’t get things out of my head. I couldn’t focus. It was almost like, you couldn’t sleep.
You just had no one to turn to. I never spoke to anyone about it. Unfortunately, you know, you get involved in drink, etc. But it was real anxiety, depression. It was a horrible, horrible thing.
But it was funny because I found, you know, probably about six months later, especially when it first happened, it was almost like an acceptance. And I moved on, and I was able to move on for a couple of years. But I’ve found then, later on in life, that there were, unfortunately, some triggers that just came about. And I’d slip up again.
But again, I go into this awful period where you know, you’d be drinking, it’d be causing people a lot of problems and especially, causing my partner a lot of problems. And it was a horrible thing, generally just sent me personally into like a real downward spiral. And you just couldn’t get out of it. You just cannot get things out of your head. You know, it’s a horrible thing.
Zachary: Absolutely, yeah. Were you ever afraid that you could lose your relationship as a result of retroactive jealousy?
Gethen: Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think, probably, from my point of view, pushing my partner into a position where, you know, she’s just, “I can’t take this anymore.” And also, you know, I felt maybe I was better off on my own or something. What kept me going was the fact that I felt, you know, I can’t lose this over something that’s going on in my head. That was my drive, if you like it, that makes sense.
Zachary: Absolutely, yeah. How would you compare your feelings now? To before you found my course?
Gethen: I’d say night and day, almost. Discovering the term retroactive jealousy was a game-changer for me.
I honestly, probably believed that there was no one else out there like me. I probably never really believed that I could get help for it. And what I found is, for me, personally, it didn’t run through the course quickly. And then the thing that was said, to you know, challenge things or replayed things rather than some of the mindfulness things, I found quite interesting because that’s something I’ve struggled with before.
There were some points of the course, anyway, that struck me. You know, “I never thought that way before,” you know, and that really helped. Because the problem is the way I think about things because it is all in my head. And triggers in worse states…. I’d be in a hell of a state for weeks, I’ll be honest, you know. And even when I got control of things, I could get it down to days or maybe hours, but since during the course, I struggle now to think of these things for even minutes. But I wasn’t able to do that before I did the course.
Zachary: That’s great to hear. So someone is watching this video or listening to this right now who’s really struggling with retroactive jealousy. What would you tell someone who’s struggling with retroactive jealousy? Who’s on the fence about investing in my course?
Gethen: I would say if you’re committed, and you’re ready to believe in it, take the course, without a doubt.
I think it’s probably the best thing that ever happened to me, I’ll be honest.
And I think you know, certainly give it a chance and, you know, stay in the fight, so to speak. As you get into it, even a few of the sessions, you do think you know, “Is this going to work? Is this going to work?” But you have to believe, and you have to stay in it, you have to complete it and if necessary, do bits of it again.
But, for me personally, it does work, and it really has changed my life. When you think of being in a state of retroactive jealousy where you’re in a very low position… I mean, this [course] really gets you out of a hole. And it’s just if you’re willing to fight to control your mind, I think this is the course for retroactive jealousy sufferers, without a doubt.
