“It created who she is:” Zan Perrion on accepting your partner’s past

In a recent blog post I wrote briefly about the impact Zan Perrion’s work has had on me. The famed Canadian dating coach, author, and speaker encourages men to celebrate women, appreciate the beauty around us, and to always look at the world with an eye toward having a good time. This was advice I badly needed when…

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Should You Get Married If You’re Struggling With Retroactive Jealousy?

A 20-something male student going through my online course recently wrote to me with an important question: Do you think that it is wise to wait until I have overcome RJ to a reasonable level before considering marriage? The reasoning behind my question is that marriage is a big deal for me, and I really…

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On Loving Women: An Open Letter to Male Jealousy Sufferers

When I started writing my book Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy, and working on this blog, I was convinced that retroactive jealousy was almost exclusively a male problem. I was wrong. Today, after several years of conversing with RJ sufferers on a near-daily basis, I’d estimate that over forty percent of my readers and students are women. However, not all…

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Mailbag: “What if my partner has more sexual experience than me? And what if she’s ‘the One’?”

Today’s letter comes from an American named Ron. It raises several important, and widely resonant issues for sufferers of retroactive jealousy, and sexual jealousy in general. Ron writes: Hi Zachary, My partner has been with a lot more people than I have. I’m jealous of her. I’m jealous that I haven’t been with as many…

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Listen to a New Interview on the Knowledge for Men Podcast

One of the most enjoyable parts of being an author is connecting with others with similar missions in life. I recently appeared on Andrew Ferebee’s wonderful Knowledge for Men Podcast to talk jealousy, relationships, and more. During the near hour-long interview, we discussed retroactive jealousy, my journey toward overcoming it, how to interpret more “normal’ jealousy in relationships,…

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Meditations: A Roman Emperor’s Guide to Letting Go of Jealousy and Possessiveness

wife's past

During a recent interview, I was asked to recommend just one book that every man should read. I chose to recommend a book I think everyone can benefit from, regardless of their gender: the classic Meditations by the ancient Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius. Marcus Aurelius is one of the fathers of Stoicism, the ancient school of Hellenistic philosophy The…

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Listen To My New Interview On The ManTalks Podcast


ManTalks is a personal development website focused on sharing stories from “men making a difference.” Last month I was honoured to be featured as a ‘Man of the Week,’ and this week I was invited to appear on the ManTalks Podcast to share my story, and talk about retroactive jealousy. If you’re a man (or woman,…

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The Three Different Types of Retroactive Jealousy: An Explainer

It’s fair to estimate that the overwhelming majority of the global population has never encountered the term “retroactive jealousy.” Someone at a party asks about the projects I’m working on, and I’m consistently met with a confused “Huh?” when I bring it up. Even those of us who become familiar with the term “retroactive jealousy”…

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What is Love?

Baby, don’t hurt me… (Apologies, couldn’t resist.) … Not long ago, one of the students taking my “Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast” course wrote to me with a provocative question. Let’s call him “Ananda:” I was reading your blog post about 36 of your favourite quotes about jealousy, love, and relationships. The final quote,…

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36 Of My Favourite Quotes About Jealousy, Love, and Relationships

quotes about jealousy

If you Google “quotes about jealousy,” you’ll receive over 700,000 (!) relevant search results. Needless to say, I am merely one voice in a global conversation that has been going on for many millennia about jealousy, love, and possessiveness in romantic relationships. As you might know by now, I read a lot about jealousy, love, and…

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